The Fanfiction Slam Book
by The Ingenue's Shadow
Summary: This is a slam book - a book where I email fanficiton authors {often personal} questions about their writing and they answer them for me. I've edited/posted them, so here goes! This is something really new, you might want to check it out . . . SKIMABLE!!!
1. The First Ten

ALL FAN FICTION AUTHORS AND READERS! This is a slam book. For those of you who don't know what a slam book is, it is where I select fan fiction authors and ask them {often quite personal} questions; obviously this one is about fan fiction.  
  
I started out by sending an email to twenty fan fiction authors. I got back five sets of answers to my questions - about what I expected. Below are their pennames at fanfiction.net, and their pennames will follow every question they answer. Answering the questions did not guarantee any of them that their answers would be in the slam book. I chose the answers that I thought would fit best here.  
  
Without further ado, here are their pennames:  
  
Loralie  
  
EMerald Queen  
  
Nayako  
  
Lady Coia  
  
Snapeslilgurl  
  
And, the first 10 questions and their answers:  
  
Why do you write fan fiction as opposed to original fiction?  
  
**** The basic necessities of a story are already there, and with fan  
fiction, you can play with what's set out, change it so you can make it  
want you want, or write something that would never happen. It's so fun  
and interesting! **** (Loralie)  
  
**** I suppose I write fanfiction because there's such a wise audience  
for it, so the amount of reviews I get is larger than the amount I get  
for my original fiction, therefore I improve more quickly. I write the  
fanfiction for everybody to read who wants to, and so I get better known  
by everybody. I never post my original fiction because it's too private.  
**** (EMerald QUeen)  
**** I prefer to write my own original ideas over fan fiction, but fan  
fiction is a good way to twist the story to what you want to happen. ****  
(snapeslilgurl)  
  
**** I write fan fiction because it gives you the chance to take the  
characters of stories and movies or what-not and put them into your own  
inventive plots. It also gives you the possibility of mixing with  
relationships you like and developing the characters in your own way. My  
favorite part of writing fan fiction is that you can portray how you see  
the characters to other readers. **** (Nayako)  
  
**** I write both, actually, but more fan fiction than original fiction.  
I don't really know why... Probably because I like having some ideas  
already for me, instead of having to store everything in my head, or  
having to make it all up. I really don't know... I guess it also shows  
that I like a story enough to write about it, or something like that.  
**** (Lady Coia)  
  
Do you ever feel that fan fiction is degrading?  
  
**** Not really. People might say it is if it's OCC, but it's up  
to the writers whether or not they should be in character. ****  
(Loralie)  
  
**** I think that fanfiction can be degrading, but not all the  
time. Slash, for instance, I think is very degrading. How would  
Tolkein react if he saw the fictions people write about, say,  
Legolas and Aragorn. There are, however, wonderful fanfictions out  
there that do true justice to the origional works, so don't get me  
wrong. I also feel that OOCness degrades the characters involved.  
(EMerald QUeen)  
  
**** Ah yes, I have my lapses. Sometimes, I feel guilty for mixing  
with the original's ideas. **** (Nayako)  
  
What was the first fan fiction that you wrote, and how much do you regret it?  
  
**** Urgh... Don't remind me. The first fan fic I ever wrote was  
something called Tears of Light. Interesting title, yes, but crappy  
story. It was basically a whole wack of ideas put together, and I kept  
leaving questions open, and it was a whole lot of... mud. I hated it,  
so I deleted it. I don't regret it, though, because I did learn from  
it. **** (Lady Coia)  
  
**** Hehe. My very 1st fan fiction had to be one of the anime series  
Yu-Gi-Oh! Oh boy, it sucked personally. I couldn't write back then,  
and I'm not really a fan of it now. (Nayako)  
  
**** The first fanfiction I wrote was an Artemis Fowl one, and I wince  
at it. I don't really regret it though, because if I had not written  
it I would not have improved my writing skills half as much as I have  
done, as I would not have realized how bad my work actually was. I  
occasionally update it, and it still drags in good reviews somehow so  
I think it's a good thing I did write it. **** (EMerald QUeen)  
  
**** My first fan fiction was written in an actual journal and never  
made it on the internet or even on my computer. It was so terrible, I  
enjoy reading it now and laughing at it. **** (snapeslilgurl)  
  
How would you feel if someone wrote fan fiction based on your work?  
  
**** As long as they gave me credit, I'd feel very honored!!  
Otherwise, I'd feel cheated and abused. **** (Loralie)  
  
**** Well, as in based a fan fiction off my fan fiction? It would  
anger me if they didn't ask for my permission first. But then for  
writing fan fiction on my original fiction? Well, bring it on! Now  
THAT would be fun and interesting, and I would really want to read  
them. **** (Nayako)  
  
**** It depends on what sort of fiction it is. The initial reaction  
would be good, because it means that my works would have made someone  
feel strongly enough to actually spend time writing about it, but then  
if it was a slash, a Mary Sue or poking fun I would be shocked, hurt  
and insulted. If it was well written and kept everyone in character,  
even if the plot was not very good I would feel delighted. ****  
(EMerald QUeen)  
  
**** I would go, "YIPEE!!!" I would feel honored. If someone wanted to  
write a fan fic about my fan fic, that'd be plain amazing. But,  
somehow, I doubt it will ever happen... **** (Lady Coia)  
  
Do your friends know you write fan fiction?  
  
**** No. Fanfiction is part of my very private life. **** (EMerald  
QUeen)  
  
**** Hehe. No. my sister does, but my friends don't. They only know  
about my original fiction. Let's leave the fan stuff out there in the  
fan dome. **** (Nayako)  
  
**** Definitely! A few of them read my stuff, and they give me great  
support and occasionally ideas. **** (Loralie)  
  
**** Um, what friends? Lol, don't feel sorry for me. I do have  
friends... kinda. But, my friends I know over the computer know I do,  
if that counts... Wow, this is making me depressed. Uh, next question!  
**** (Lady Coia)  
**** Yes, they do. Many enjoy reading them, especially the parodies.  
**** (snapeslilgurl)  
  
What character do you feel that you have mutated the most from the author's original portrayal?  
  
**** Probably Hermione. In a couple of my fics, she's this confident,  
sexy and almost perverted girl that's totally unlike the Hermione JK  
has written about. Then in one I'm working on, she's changed a lot  
physically.. Very "hot" I guess was what I was going for. She has  
glasses too. Also, her work ethic is gone during the summer, but only  
because of a nervous breakdown she had had earlier. So Hermione. ****  
(Loralie)  
  
**** Discounting my first fanfiction, which as I said was very badly  
written where I don't think anyone was in character, probably Legolas.  
I don't think Tolkien meant for him to be a playful minx, but I still  
try not to make him TOO OCC. **** (EMerald QUeen)  
  
**** Well... all of them in a way. I mainly write slash, or in other  
words male/male relationships. I enjoy it, but the characters are  
usually straight in the original. We slashers can only dream sadly.  
(Nayako)  
  
What significant traits does your first fan fiction have that your others don't?  
  
**** I haven't read my first fanfiction in ages, but I think, aside  
from the fact its based on a different authors works to my usual  
fictions, that it has a lot more dialog and a lot fewer descriptions  
of settings etc. than my more recent fics. **** (EMerald QUeen)  
  
**** A lack of plot. My first fan fiction was terrible. **** (snapeslilgurl)  
  
What is your deepest wish concerning your work, specifically fan fiction?  
  
**** That people find they can relate to my characters and enjoy  
reading abut them. Also, I would love it if I could get plenty more  
reviews. **** (EMerald QUeen)  
**** To entertain readers and make them experience complete hysterics  
and moments of "awwwww". **** (Loralie)  
**** That I could write it better, and be able to portray emotions  
better. Oh, and to get a giant, hit story with, like, tons of reviews.  
That'd be cool. **** (Lady Coia)  
**** I wish more people would review, as some tell me they have read  
it and never tell me what they thought about it and that annoys me.  
**** (snapeslilgurl)  
  
Name and explain a Mary-Sue that the author of a book has created.  
  
**** Well, Harry Potter himself is a very large Mary Sue (is there a  
male name for Mary Sue?) because everything (good and bad) seems to  
happen to him, but he does have some personalities that tone the  
monosyllabic plot down a little. **** (snapeslilgurl)  
  
What is the extent of your obsession with your fan fiction or the book it has been based on?  
  
**** Haha, I guess I'm fairly obsessed with Harry Potter. And  
Moulin Rouge (although I abandoned that fic long ago). But I won't  
say I'm the BIGGEST fan in the world, coz I'm not. **** (Loralie)  
  
****Complete obsession. You should see the amount of notes and  
sketches I have of my characters and settings. There isn't a day go by  
where I don't think about at least two of my characters, or characters  
from the book it was based on. I also check regular websites on it  
constantly for news concerning the book, and I always have new ideas  
for my works at strange and inconvenient times, i.e. in the middle of  
a math exam. **** (EMerald QUeen)  
  
****_ fan fictions okay. I'm not too obsessed with it, but my major  
addictions are to the TV show C.S.I.: Crime Scene Investigation and  
the book trilogy The Lord of the Rings. For CSI, I'm most likely going  
to go into a career in forensic science because of it and for LotR...  
well... *looks around room* don't make me start. (Nayako)  
**** Heh... I read the books, and I try to write a chapter a day.  
That's it, really. (Lady Coia)  
**** I am a very literate person, so I don't completely obsess to much  
over one book or series in particular, but I enjoy them enough to read  
them a couple more times. I will also draw fan art occasionally.  
(snapeslilgurl)  
  
OKAY SO THIS IS IT! Soon I will have another 10 questions and answers  
posted, and I'm looking for NEW people to answer them! So, email me or  
review me and tell me if you want to answer any questions, because  
otherwise I'll resort to going to the "random picks" section of this  
site again!  
WATCH OUT . . . THE NEXT QUESTIONS WILL BE PERSONAL! 


	2. Deeper

Okay, I'm back! As promised, this set of questions has been named "Deeper," in accordance with the fact that I was really looking for dirt here. I didn't get too much of it, but here's what I do have!  
  
This set's five authors are . . . (drum-roll please) . . .  
  
Big Eyes  
  
Idhren Noletura  
  
devilrose  
  
Moriquendimaiden  
  
Hobbit Killer  
  
QUESTION SET TWO: DEEPER  
  
(1) Torture. Your fan fiction is inside your computer, and its source is inside a book or movie. You, however are neither of those places. What have you done to get as close to your fan fiction / its original source as possible?  
  
**** To get closer to my fan fiction I've basically turned it into  
my second life. I live in an imagined world where all of my fan  
fics come together to make one huge soap opera as well as the world  
of people with something resembling sanity. **** (Hobbit Killer)  
  
**** Well I have a big obsession with my computer. Chances are I am  
hardly away from it, being the loser that I am, but on chances that  
I am out somewhere my copy of The Lord of the Rings is never very  
far. All my friends own it too, so if I ever really need it, it's  
about an arms reach away. **** (Idhren Noletura)  
  
(2) How do the people who know that you write fan fiction think of the fact that you do?  
  
**** I know my brother thinks I'm weird that I write fanfiction but he  
generally doesn't make a big deal out of it. My other friend who  
writes fanfiction doesn't give a damn coz she writes YAOI* for crying  
aloud...so...there hasn't really been major objections or tremendous  
encouragement. **** (Big Eyes)  
  
**** I can't read minds, so there is no way I can tell you just what  
they think of it. Only one of my friends has actually read my stuff  
and hardly any of them know I write. I guess it is not something I  
shout out to the world, but seeing as I am just beginning to write I  
bet they think it's probably not very good at all. **** (Idhren  
Noletura)  
  
**** Well, a couple of my friends write fanfiction also. So they don't  
think it's odd, or stupid. But one person I know thinks I'm crazy  
because I write fanfiction. He thinks "damn uncreative!" ****  
(Moriquendimaiden)  
  
**** I'm not a mind reader, but if you truly want to know how my  
friends feel about me writing fan fiction, I guess I would say it  
creeps them out a bit, but than again, everything I do creeps them out  
in some way. **** (Hobbit Killer)  
  
**** I am a mild slash writer and I know I quite a few people think I  
am a) perverted b)insane. I write not to satisfy sexual fantasies, but  
because I love the characters and the possibility of a relationship  
we get on fine. Most friends accept that this as a certain point of  
view some may take, but some people are a little uneasy. I'm lucky in  
having friends who don't mind the homosexuality issue. ****  
(devilrose)  
  
(3) How have you connected music with your stories?  
  
**** I've just started on a crusade to find music to fit HP. I'm not a  
huge fan of songfic's but I think that there are songs out there that  
fit the tone of a story I am trying to write. I keep personal song  
preferences and possible background music for stories written in a  
notebook. **** (devilrose)  
  
**** Hmm, I'm not really a songfic kinda person coz I think that's not  
very original . but, yeah, I do use phrases from songs in my fics or  
maybe some plot scenes were inspired by a song. **** (Big Eyes)  
  
**** Well, . . . yes. I find that a lot of songs can go with stories,  
and when used properly can make the story better. I rather like  
songfics, and have written one myself. **** (Moriquendimaiden)  
  
**** Music gives my fan fiction a roller coaster of emotions and helps  
me to keep changing the pace. It is also responsible for the birth of  
some of my fics. **** (Hobbit Killer)  
  
**** I have never used the actual lyrics of a song to help me make a  
story, but I do get inspiration from music. The works of Howard Shore  
have probably inspired most of my poems. I sometimes listen to John  
Williams to get me into that "Harry Potter mood" before I start a new  
chapter or write a story. **** (Idhren Noletura)  
  
(4) What do you see as the point/experience/moment where you got started on writing fan fiction, and are you grateful for it or do you wish that it had not happened?  
  
**** I guess I'm happy that it did happen and feeling great when you  
get reviews blablabla. BUT the downside is that u actually have to  
keep churning out chapters and stories. And me, being the lazy person  
I am, cannot do that on a regular basis. I wouldn't say I didn't wish  
it happened though. **** (Big Eyes)  
  
**** I think the first time it hit me that I wanted to write fan  
fiction was when I read The Silmarillion. I found myself thinking up  
my own little stories and being so overtaken by Tolkien's Middle Earth  
and its people. I am really grateful for it. If I would have never  
picked up that book, I would have never found something within myself  
that I really enjoy doing now, which is writing. **** (Idhren  
Noletura)  
  
**** I got involved in fanfiction when I was 13, and moreover I got  
involved with reading and writing slash fanfiction about a certain  
Australian comedy trio. This certainly broadened my view on  
homosexuality and left me as quite an open minded individual. I'm glad  
I got such a interesting "education" at such a young age as it makes  
me more easy-going about slash pairings for HP. I know how far I will  
take a story and what type of slash I do or do not like. ****  
(devilrose)  
  
**** I have been visualizing fan fiction since I was old enough to  
read, but did not start putting pen to paper until a year ago when I  
first got into Lord of the Rings and started reading fan fiction. I'm  
very grateful for it because I now know other people respect my  
writing and my fantasies and that I'm not as crazy, or alone in my  
craziness as I originally believed. **** (Hobbit Killer)  
  
(5)How much money, approximately, has been spent on your being a "fan" and how was it spent?  
  
**** Oh gosh, I can not even make an approximation. All I know is A  
LOT. Between countless movie tickets, games, buying books, posters and  
everything else I could get my hands on I know I have spent a lot of  
money. **** (Idhren Noletura)  
  
**** Haha, what a question. I am a big fan of HP but I'm no extremist.  
I don't splurge on every single HP merchandise I can get my hands on  
coz even though I LOVE HP, there are also some things I find fairly  
dumb. e.g. buying HP shirts with the actors face printed on it. Buying  
wands is just plain weird. **** (Big Eyes)  
  
**** I've only spent money on buying all the books and possibly  
internet time. Internet time I don't like to guess at but the books  
would be $130? **** (devilrose)  
  
**** I've spent at least $300 on my obsession with Lord of the Rings,  
but it's probably more close to $500. I've spent this on posters,  
books about the making of the Lord of the Rings movies, and about  
J.R.R. Tolkien. I've bought encyclopedias, atlases, DVDs, picture  
guides, book marks, etc. etc. etc. **** (Hobbit Killer)  
  
(6) Did you ever, in your lifetime before you began writing fan fiction, look down on fan fiction writers?  
  
**** Look down? Ok I gotta admit I did think that some writers were  
pretty shitty and deserved loads of criticism. But still, I don't  
think I've ever given out more than 10 flames in my whole fanfiction  
'career'. **** (Big Eyes)  
  
**** I've never looked down on fanfiction writers because I simply  
didn't know they existed. Actually I confess, when I first read  
fanfiction I scampered away in terror - what on earth were those two  
men doing to each other? I initially tried to ignore my fascination  
with fanfiction and writing and looked down on those who did write  
them. Now, I love to write fanfiction but I still hide my tracks on  
the history and in word. I don't want my family knowing I am a  
fanfiction writer. **** (devilrose)  
  
**** No. I was never really exposed to the whole fan fiction thing  
until recently. I just stumbled on it one day and thought, "This is  
pretty neat" because it was something I could see myself doing. ****  
(Idhren Noletura)  
  
**** No. **** (Moriquendimaiden)  
  
**** NEVER, say it with me NEVER! I have always respected them and  
personally think they are very good writers that just needed help  
getting started. **** (Hobbit Killer)  
  
(7) What is your style in reviewing?  
  
**** I write supportively, I offer positive comments and I actually  
address the things I like e.g. character development, dialogue etc. If  
I don't like what I read, I generally don't even get to the end of the  
piece. There is so much FF out there, what's the point of reading  
something you don't even like? **** (devilrose)  
  
**** Generally, I don't flame UNLESS it was really really a mockery to  
the story and just down right stupid AND if everyone else did it too.  
I don't really have a style in reviewing I guess, it's more like how I  
feel after reading a chapter or a fic. If I feel it's good, it'll get  
chirpy, supportive and fun reviews and if it's just alright, it'll  
just get a 'keep up the good stuff' review. **** (Big Eyes)  
  
**** If the authors are people I know, I try to be supportive. If I  
like what I see, then I usually give my praise. If I don't like what I  
see, I tell the author so. I try not to be too cruel unless I see  
something as very unbelievable or characters that are very OOC. ****  
(Idhren Noletura)  
  
**** Depends on the fic. If I like it, I review nicely. But most times  
I give harsh constructive criticism. The only thing constant in my  
reviews is good English, and not IM lingo. **** (Moriquendimaiden)  
  
**** I don't review because I don't have the guts to tell people what  
I think about their work. **** (Hobbit Killer)  
  
(8) Do you ever plan to become a professional author; what would stop you if you didn't?  
  
**** I would never become a professional writer because I suck at  
writing anything other than poetry without a prompt. **** (Hobbit  
Killer)  
  
**** I did want to become an author when I was younger, but now, I  
find that I'm too lazy and writing is too tedious for my lazy brain.  
So this right now is just a leisurely pastime and reviews feed my ego.  
**** (Big Eyes)  
  
**** I love writing, I used to want to be an author when I was young.  
Now, I think realistically - I want to do arts/law and I will continue  
to write for leisure. Writer's block and continual rejection would  
probably stop me, I don't have a high self esteem when it comes to my  
writing. **** (devilrose)  
  
**** I plan to write a book someday...so yes, I do plan on becoming a  
professional author. **** (Moriquendimaiden)  
  
**** I never really thought about being a professional author. I  
mostly write as a hobby and for fun. Don't get me wrong, it would be  
great to be getting money for it, but I've always seen myself as more  
ambitious than sitting around typing words into a computer all day.  
**** (Idhren Noletura)  
  
(9) Is there a hierarchy of fan fiction authors? Where are you?  
  
**** Haha, yeah I guess there is. It's probably ranked by how many  
reviews you get, or that kinda thing. I guess I'm alright; maybe a  
little better than average, honestly, I really don't know and ...don't  
really care. **** (Big Eyes)  
  
**** I think there is a distinct hierarchy. There are the experienced  
fanfiction writers who write well and have a considerable following.  
Then there are the writers that are starting out, breaking in  
their style of writing and story preferences - I consider myself to be  
one of those. Then there are "those fanfiction writers" - the  
teenybopper, self-insertion, Mary Sue fiction writers. The fan girls  
basically. Often, they can rise up to starting to write proper  
fanfiction but some just enjoy swimming around in the pink, sugar  
coated land of painful to read fanfiction. This is a really  
interesting question actually. As well as this distinct three tier  
system, you have certain radical groups - I fit into the slash writers  
who write because they see the possibilities of male relationships in  
canon. Secondly there are the slash xxxxxxxxxxxxx writers who write  
stories for the sake of writing about male sex and the incest/abnormal  
pairings writers e.g. fred/george, draco/lucius (from Harry Potter).  
These are the fringe pairings that sometimes give fanfiction a bad  
name. **** (devilrose)  
  
**** If I were to rank myself among the other fan fic writers I would  
put myself a few places above the omega (worst). I am not overly  
good, nor am I famous, I am just a simple writer lapping up all the  
reviews I can get, even the bad ones. **** (Hobbit Killer)  
  
**** Well...in the LOTR section I think the "queen" of fanfiction is  
Camilla Sandman, since she wrote OFUM (Official Fanfiction University  
of Middle-earth). The lowest is Mary-Sue writers. I think I'm  
somewhere in the middle. **** (Moriquendimaiden)  
  
(10) What actions have you made characters take to appear, in your eyes, particularly sexy or as a turn-on? (Example: some people make characters fight)  
  
**** I like your example *laughs* I am not really into all the fluff  
and romance. A particularly sexy trait for a character, in my eyes, is  
being able to throw witty and mostly cruel comments at another  
character. Fighting is good, but nothing tops a battle of wills and  
sexual tension. Sometimes the words characters can say are more of a  
turn-on than actual touching or having sex. **** (Idhren Noletura)  
  
**** Haha, not much I guess...typical stalking cum seduction plan.  
playing hard to get...steamy detentions? **** (Big Eyes)  
  
**** My lust for some characters doesn't affect my fics (for the most  
part). Therefore, I don't make them do anything that in my mind would  
be OOC. ****  
(Moriquendimaiden)  
  
**** I find characters to be very sexy when being tortured, or  
enduring physical pain as I am an evil sadistic bitch. **** (Hobbit  
Killer)  
  
**** I write sexual tension into my stories; I prefer building up to  
the romance than actually having to write about it. I use different  
methods of this which include - flinching at touching, internal  
conflict, arguments and in a recent story one person knocked the other  
out in a duel. I use the eyes to convey the emotion they are feeling,  
I think that a gaze or a flicker in the eyes can suggest so many  
things, it's rather sexy. **** (devilrose)  
  
END AUTHOR'S NOTE: Wow, I edited out a lot less than last time. Nice job and thanks a million to the golden five who answered these for me! You guys rock, and I loved your answers! Man, I would love answering some of these . . . . Speaking of which!  
  
I need more people to answer my next set of questions! I use different authors every time, and I'm fresh out! Review me or email me and I'll send you the next set when I send them out. The deadline is usually a 24-hour one, though, so you'd better type fast.  
  
Thanks, guys, and please review and tell me what you think! I know it's new, so I want to see what the general opinion is!  
  
~ Neihtar 


	3. Classify This

IT WILL BE GOOD. I took a full three days on this one, and I'm positive that it will top both of the others (which I might even be adding answers to). I have a total of TEN people answering these questions, and quite a few people who missed the boat last time.  
  
The theme is: Classify This. It doesn't hold true for all of the interview, though. It starts out asking questions that directly correspond with the theme (slash, mary-sues, etc) but soon there are some REALLY random questions stuck in. So, enjoy! And the lucky nine are . . .  
  
Answers by: Maximum Poofy  
  
Answers by: Crystal  
  
Answers by: ruxi  
  
Answers by: Megz  
  
Answers by: hitobashira  
  
Answers by: namarie2legolas  
  
Answers by: LiNe  
  
Answers by: Nakayo  
  
Answers by: carres1220  
  
Answers by: Hermione 'DB' Granger  
  
ON WITH THE SHOW!  
  
Question Set #3: Classify This  
  
Slash, in case you don't know, is generally male-male (sometimes female- female) romance between two given characters who were not homosexual as described by the author. (Gosh I hope that's an okay explanation!). What are your views on slash, your tolerance for it, your limits?  
  
****I think slash is basically a manifestation of someone's  
  
obsession with boys, at least to me it is. I love em so much I  
  
have to put the men I love most together! It's a beautiful thing  
  
too. My tolerance for slash is VERY high but I only go for the  
  
boy/boy stuff. Since I'm a girl, the femslash doesn't go well  
  
with me. I almost have no limits with slash. I'll read anything  
  
from Bondage, g-NC-17, chanslash, you name it, I'll read it . .  
  
. as long as it's not incest or femslash.**** (Maximum Poofy)  
  
**** I'm usually okay with slash, but I stay away from it most  
  
of the time. As for tolerance, I'm fine as long as it doesn't  
  
get into lemon. **** (Crystal)  
  
**** I for one HATE most slash fanfics if they are Harry Potter  
  
or Lord of the Rings. I believe that the characters are way out  
  
of character of what the author ever intended. Don't get me  
  
wrong, I am not homophobic and I have no problem with gay people  
  
whatsoever but with books that have been written and that the  
  
author never implied any slash at all shouldn't be taken that  
  
way. I feel the same about some pairings that are boy/girl.  
  
For example Hermione and Snape. I mean can you say gross?!? He  
  
is old enough to be her father! But there is some slash that I  
  
find all right. I prefer not to read it and don't write it but  
  
I am fine if other people want to. **** (Megz)  
  
**** I will read it, perhaps even enjoy it. Write it, if it  
  
serves the story. Truthfully, I dare say that slash is in no way  
  
different to heterosexual intercourses. If it fits the  
  
characters and the certain flow of the plot, that I fail to see  
  
why it should not be used. **** (ruxi)  
  
**** I can tolerate slash as long as the characters can support  
  
it. I don't particularly like the idea of taking characters and  
  
altering them in that fashion, but some people do. I have read  
  
a few good stories that had mild slash in them, but most slash  
  
is way out of line for me. I really don't need to know the  
  
details. I view it like heterosexual pairings . . . as long as  
  
they're done tastefully, fine. **** (hitobashira)  
  
**** I have no tolerance for slash. I hate it. It's sick. It  
  
twists perfectly good characters into something nasty. ****  
  
(namarie2legolas)  
  
**** I don't read slash but I understand those who do. It is  
  
just as natural as breathing so I think that it's okay. Just  
  
because I don't like it doesn't mean that everyone else has to  
  
not like it. **** (LiNe)  
  
**** I am a proud slash writer! Male/male relationships are what  
  
I enjoy writing. It's either that, or no relationships at all  
  
in my stories. So yes, I am a slasher and I hold nothing against  
  
it. **** (Nakayo)  
  
**** Generally slash is ok. I don't really like female  
  
slash...the only thing I can handle is Draco and Harry cause  
  
Draco is soo sexy. **** (carres1220)  
  
**** I'm planning on doing a Lesbian fic. I don't think anyone will  
turn out gay, or if they do they'll be so minor a character it won't  
get mentioned. I don't like most slash ships but because they're  
unlikely. I like slash stories / writers because I'm all for  
speaking up for minority groups. **** (Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
(2) Define Mary-Sue, the way you see "it."  
  
**** A Mary-Sue is a perfect person, perfect in everyway and  
  
always falls in love with the main character but to me? Just a  
  
really annoying girl who needs to go somewhere else. ****  
  
(Maximum Poofy)  
  
**** Knows how to fight well, has a lot of attention, is from  
  
another world, very special. Near perfect except a foul mouth  
  
maybe? **** (Crystal)  
  
**** Mary-Sue is a story where the author puts themselves in it  
  
as a character. **** (Nakayo)  
  
**** Mary-Sues are those characters that the author desperately  
  
wants us to love but in regard to which, instead of being  
  
permitted to gradually know the characters, we are being forced  
  
upon a great amount of flashy details and powers. **** (ruxi)  
  
**** A Mary Sue is a female character (usually a transfer) who  
  
is perfect in every way. She looks beautiful, has a wonderful  
  
personality, and of course is amazing at playing Quidditch.  
  
Authors describe her singing voice as just as beautiful as the  
  
rest of her. Also the author of the fanfic will try to disguise  
  
the character by giving her a bad temper...but it really doesn't  
  
work. **** (Megz)  
  
**** I think Mary Sues are original characters and self inserts  
  
who are impossibly overpowered in the story. **** (hitobashira)  
  
**** Mary Sue: aka Fan girl. For example it is to write (or  
  
think, for that matter) gushy romances concerning your favorite  
  
character. Except I do not believe all people who write about  
  
person(s) falling in love with Legolas, for instance, are Mary  
  
Sues. Mary Sues contain no humor, research, action, and often no  
  
plot, etc- they are just romances. **** (namarie2legolas)  
  
**** A girl, usually if not always exceptionally beautiful, who  
mysteriously transfers from another school and happens to be in  
Harry's year (oh my gosh, what are the chances? apparently quite  
high given the number there are...). Harry falls in love with her,  
it's all flufftastic (or heartbreaky) and then she turns out to have  
(evil) superpowers (which she is probably trying to destroy him  
with). They're a pile of dragon dung. **** (Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
**** I define Mary-Sues as a self inserted character that is  
  
perfect in every single way. I also think that Mary Sues always  
  
are how the author wants to be portrayed. Like if a girl is  
  
insecure about herself she'll make her Mary-Sue gorgeous or have  
  
some special qualities. **** (carres1220)  
  
(3) What is your tolerance for Mary-Sues? Are the authors all one- timers?  
  
**** I'm not much on Mary-Sues because everyone needs flaws to  
  
be realistic. One-Time authors? No, not really. **** (Maximum  
  
Poofy)  
  
**** Well, I'm fine with Mary-Sues. As a matter of fact, I  
  
happen to write them... At least I'm told I write Mary-Sues  
  
once in a while. I don't know... Some authors don't like Mary-  
  
Sue and won't write them. Others like me happen to write them.  
  
After all, who wants their character to be some boring girl/guy  
  
that doesn't know how to do anything? **** (Crystal)  
  
**** I don't have a very large tolerance for Mary-Sues...they  
  
really piss me off. I will stop reading the story if it goes  
  
too far with the Mary-Sue. I don't think all authors are one-  
  
timers. But for first time authors it gives them time to work  
  
on character development for their next story, it all comes down  
  
to experience and wanting to make your story better or just  
  
being too lazy to create a character with flaws. **** (Megz)  
  
**** I think Mary-Suism is a stage of writing - normally, I tend  
  
to view them with a certain degree of amusement. Sometimes, I  
  
offer advice or suggestions for improvement, where I feel it  
  
might be appreciated. All in all, I will most likely save the  
  
most absurd paragraph and mail it to the author, after I have  
  
seen the last's writing progress, so she or he may too indulge  
  
in a hearty laugh at the former errors. Truly, I don't  
  
understand why some people flame instead of helping. **** (ruxi)  
  
**** I don't really like Mary-Sues. I don't read them. **** (Nakayo)  
  
**** I have very little tolerance for Mary Sue fics. There are  
  
one or two that have been more tolerable than others, but in the  
  
end, I felt they were a waste of time. And no, not all Mary Sue  
  
writers are one-timers, just the worst offenders. ****  
  
(hitobashira)  
  
**** Ehh... I can stand Mary Sues, as SOMETIMES they are  
  
actually well-written. Romances that actually have a developed  
  
plot are stomachable. **** (namarie2legolas)  
  
**** I think when you write you always put yourself into your  
  
characters. I can tolerate it in stories where there is a lack  
  
of female characters and you may need to create one but in Harry  
  
Potter where there is an overabundance I have no tolerance. I  
  
don't think the authors are one timers. **** (carres1220)  
  
**** Dunno, never come across a major M-S. I expect all stories by  
the author would be formulaic. M-Ss bite big time and it would never  
happen - the schools are so protective of their secrets that no one  
would be allowed to transfer. Basically they're an improbable load  
of shite. I can take 'improbable' if it's for a good plot - but M-Ss  
blow. Apparently there are quite funny spoofs though.... ****  
(Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
Is canon law? How far can you go from the character while keeping him/her in canon, and what is your reaction when people put characters ridiculously out of canon? (Examples: Frodo and Sam playing shoot-the-Elf, or Hermione screaming "Shut up, bitch!" to a respected teacher.)  
  
**** Canon should be respected - but not to the border where it  
  
destroys the possibility of fanfiction. Just because no one  
  
mentioned Albus Dumbledore ever being married does not mean he  
  
can't have been at one point. When it comes to canon characters,  
  
however, I appreciate it when the authors do not cross the line  
  
- the last were put there for a reason. **** (ruxi)  
  
**** I've been told, in one of my stories, that I keep the  
  
characters in canon pretty well, except for Tom Riddle and Draco  
  
(that's because it's an AU). I'm not sure how far you can go.  
  
People who go way out of character are usually funny people and  
  
that's why I read their stuff though I don't think I've read a  
  
story where Hermione's screamed "shut up, bitch!". Though she  
  
has gotten into cat fights. That's funny. **** (Maximum Poofy)  
  
**** I can't stand it when characters are out of canon. It just  
  
annoys me, because I'm used to this certain character and you  
  
suddenly write with that certain character's name and change her  
  
whole characteristics. But I will stand it if there is a good  
  
reason why she is out of canon. **** (Crystal)  
  
**** Once again I feel that this all has to do with character  
  
development. I don't think that an author should just start out  
  
with a major change in persona. But if the author gives it time  
  
and thought through out the story and the change is  
  
understandable and not just flat out there out of no where. ****  
  
(Megz)  
  
**** I think that it's pretty cool...but sometimes not. I don't  
  
like it when people go too far, for example if Harry was married  
  
to Snape, that's pretty weird. But I like it when Hermione plays  
  
Quidditch or something cool like that. **** (LiNe)  
  
**** I actually quite like the sound of both examples....  
  
If they were under imperius it'd be ok - though it would b so naff  
if people kept saying 'and it turned out that Voldemort had had them  
under the imperius curse all along'. I reckon with HP characters,  
some swerving is ok, after all they are all hormonal at the mo -  
Hermione + PMT = uncharacteristic bad arse swearing. But, unless  
it's a spoof, majorly changing the characters is pointless - why not  
make them original and write your own damn book rather than changing  
existing characters beyond recognition? **** (Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
**** You should always try and keep to the canon of the  
  
character. You wouldn't be writing about them unless you liked  
  
them the way they are already written. I think the people who  
  
normally put them extremely out of character are not doing them  
  
justice. There is a point to a parody fic, however, so  
  
sometimes it can work out. Generally, I feel that the character  
  
is in most instances, sacrosanct. **** (hitobashira)  
  
**** Canon can be quite funny if it is well done. Even then, it  
  
is only for those who have a well-developed sense of humor. ****  
  
(namarie2legolas)  
  
**** Gosh, I hate it when characters are REALLY not canon. It  
  
makes me sad that people will mess with the original character  
  
THAT much. To me, canon is law. **** (Nakayo)  
  
**** I believe it is okay to take certain liberties but I  
  
personally like to keep my characters as realistic as possible.  
  
Some stories are very tastefully written and the characters are  
  
out of canon. It just depends. **** (carres1220)  
  
If your work was censored (because it was too violent, outspoken, startling, whatever), what would be your reaction?  
  
**** It might be kinda cool, I expect I'd be secretly quite proud.  
Nothing like trying to ban (or whatever) something to get it more  
attention... Though I might b a bit angry (or worried that I'd  
written something that bad....) **** (Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
**** I'd feel violated, I guess. It's my story and if I wanted  
  
it censored I'd do it myself. **** (Maximum Poofy)  
  
**** If my work was censored, I would definitely be pissed, but  
  
if you gave me a day or two to think about it, I'd probably  
  
figure out the problem. There's also the fact that there are  
  
younger kids than me on ff.net **** (Crystal)  
  
**** I would probably seek to find what my error was and, if  
  
proven wrong, I would amend it - if I feel it does not ruin my  
  
entire view on the fic. **** (ruxi)  
  
**** The bastards. This is my work; they have NO right to  
  
interfere. Unless I killed off the president, or something,  
  
which I would not do. And I wouldn't mind it if they changed the  
  
rating from pg13 to R, as long as they did not remove it from  
  
the net. That would be okay, and they wouldn't be bastards  
  
anymore. **** (namarie2legolas)  
  
**** Well it has been...on the Harry Potter boards. But then it  
  
is mostly stupid stuff because it won't let you type a certain  
  
word...like returned and cockroach. I find it annoying but not  
  
really maddening. **** (Megz)  
  
**** I wouldn't really care. **** (carres1220)  
  
**** I think I would be upset if my work were censored. I can  
  
understand a site not wishing to publish my material if they  
  
felt that way. That is their right, since it is their site  
  
after all, but it would still upset me. **** (hitobashira)  
  
What do you believe? (This can be anything from religion to politics, basically whatever you want to say. It can have to do with your fan fiction, or not. It can be you as an author, or you as a person.)  
  
**** I am a Christian republican who loves to scream and voice  
  
her opinion. In further response to question 5, I probably would  
  
not write anything worthy of being banded as it would go against  
  
my belief systems. **** (namarie2legolas)  
  
**** I believe in a lot of things but mostly I don't think  
  
anyone should stop writing slash because it's against God. I'm  
  
not gay myself and yet I write it for the action, romance,  
  
angst, all that good stuff that some how seems more powerful  
  
when it's done in slash. I believe anyone should be able to  
  
freely write slash or Yaoi as anime fans call it, without having  
  
to go through crap just because you're writing it and they think  
  
it's wrong. I also believe, as stupid as it sounds, that  
  
imagination is, in some way, reality. We couldn't have just come  
  
up with all these fantasies and myths. I think they had to have  
  
been reality at some point. **** (Maximum Poofy)  
  
**** Hm, interesting question... I believe in greater forces in  
  
the world, fate, magic... I also believe that the mind holds so  
  
much power and can help you do so many things. **** (Nakayo)  
  
**** I believe that fiction is better than real life. Life is a  
  
bit dull and I wish that more exciting things would happen to  
  
everyday people. And I believe romance never happens like it  
  
does in books. No two people can be that fucking happy. ****  
  
(carres1220)  
  
**** Basically, I don't believe in religions and I think a lot  
  
of laws are stupid. But hey, it's my own opinion. I write  
  
because it's relieving. My mother (no she doesn't abuse me) but  
  
she's those mother with vocal chords as loud as guitar  
  
amplifiers and my brother is basically an annoying arse.  
  
Therefore I try to stay out of their way as possible, which  
  
leads to writing. So basically, writing is an escape from my  
  
family. **** (Crystal)  
  
**** Anything you can make me believe. **** (ruxi)  
  
**** I believe in LOOOOVE!! **** (LiNe)  
  
**** That is a big question! I guess I will go on my  
  
perspective on fanfics seeing as this is one, in a way. I  
  
believe that any fan has the right to come up with their own  
  
original story and post it on the boards, no matter what. I try  
  
my best to use my authors perspective to be respectful and not  
  
flame other peoples works because I know how much they mean to  
  
them (there are a few exceptions but not many) I also strongly  
  
believe in trying to understand any character you are writing  
  
about weather it be an OC or the author of the books character  
  
and have some respect for there personality and to pay attention  
  
to details. **** (Megz)  
  
**** I want to be a Pagen, so I suppose I believe in all the Pagen  
stuff.  
I believe Tony Blair is an arse hole and we shouldn't have gone to  
war.  
I believe for every drop of rain that falls a flower grows. I dunno  
- I believe lots of stuff, not a lot (if anything) affects how I  
write.  
Oh - except I believe that all the stuff in books really does exist,  
maybe not in this world or time, but somewhere. **** (Hermione 'DB'  
Granger)  
  
**** I believe that people should do their best in anything they  
  
do. It always annoys me when I see someone half-assing a job or  
  
a story. If you're going to do it in the first place: do it  
  
right to the best of your abilities. **** (hitobashira)  
  
What, in the way of fan fiction, is entirely unacceptable?  
  
**** Very horrible grammar. I'm okay with slight grammar  
  
mistakes, because nobody's perfect. And also people who do not  
  
capitalize names and their sentences and also people who do not  
  
spell check. The other is when people type like 'tHiS'. ****  
  
(Crystal)  
  
**** Slaughtering canon characters by sheer OOCism. Very  
  
clicheed plots. **** (ruxi)  
  
**** Frankly I don't like these short little pieces that crop up  
  
all the time that are short pieces of crap. I can understand  
  
doing something as a joke, but I think fan fiction is something  
  
that should be taken relatively serious. If you're not  
  
intending to do a good job on your story, or poem then don't  
  
publish it. **** (hitobashira)  
  
**** Well with Harry Potter at least I find that it is entirely  
  
not acceptable to have a fic with a lot of graphic sex in it.  
  
It is a children's book and to some extent it should be aimed at  
  
the same age group that the book was written in. If people want  
  
stuff like that they should just go rent a porn movie and get it  
  
over with, and not write or read it where small children  
  
could. **** (Megz)  
  
**** Nothing! Fanfiction is letting go of yourself, no holding  
  
back! You put all your favorite couples together, the ones that  
  
you wished were true, you put them in your favorite situations  
  
and you go wild! It's the best thing in the world. **** (Maximum  
  
Poofy)  
  
**** Someone who gives no depth to their characters is entirely  
  
unacceptable as far as I'm concerned. And paring Hagrid with  
  
Harry is unacceptable. Please people. Have some bloody  
  
respect. **** (carres1220)  
  
**** Graphic sex. On paper, that is just wrong. It's like porn;  
  
it messes up your mind and bounces around in your head a long  
  
time. You can't look at guys (or girls) the same way after  
  
reading stuff like that. **** (namarie2legolas)  
  
What "style" fan fiction do you write? (Drama, Action, Slash, etc.)  
  
**** Romance, Angst, Action/Adventure, Poetry, General. **** (Crystal)  
  
**** Drama, mystery, action/adventure. Imbued, mostly. And  
  
Angst, whose presence always shadows my works. **** (ruxi)  
  
**** I do Drama, angst, action/adventure, and supernatural. ****  
  
(Megz)  
  
**** I write mostly drama/romances although I'm not adverse to  
  
adding romance to any of my stories. I'm a hopeless romantic at  
  
heart. **** (hitobashira)  
  
**** Any kind I feel like, which is basically everything but  
  
slash. I am partisan to humor, though. **** (namarie2legolas)  
  
**** I write Romance/Humor most. **** (LiNe)  
  
**** Most kinds. So far; attempted JK (5th yr fic, try and copy her  
style, so 'general'), songfics, diary format (which also comes under  
humor). I also try and work most aspects into fics. For example my  
diary one has aspects of romance, quite a lot of humor and  
adventure. **** (Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
**** I write slash, some romance, drama, definitely  
  
action/adventure... but I mainly like drama... angst is good now  
  
and then as well. **** (Nakayo)  
  
**** I like drama/romance with a touch of humor. **** (carres1220)  
  
**** Slash, slash, and more slash with a side of Action, a bowl  
  
of drama and a large cup of ANGST!! Muwahahaha!!! Er . . . yeah.  
  
And also a lot of supernatural and fantasy for dessert. ****  
  
(Maximum Poofy)  
  
Should book "purists" even bother to read and review fan fiction if all they're going to do is point out everything that is wrong, and what a stupid idea fan fiction is?  
  
**** I am in no position to deny them the right to review as  
  
they see fit - as long as they, however, do not expect me to  
  
eternally heed their remarks. **** (ruxi)  
  
**** No. they'd do it anyway but if they're getting their kicks  
  
out of correcting us then they should go snog a hippogriff  
  
because I don't bloody care. Why should they waste OUR bloody  
  
time by reviewing and reading things they don't believe in? It's  
  
crazy. They're wasting their time as well. **** (Maximum Poofy)  
  
**** Well, no. If they really are "purists", then they  
  
shouldn't even go to a fan fiction site. If they don't like the  
  
story, they can go away. And to answer the last question. If  
  
fan fiction is stupid, why did you bother coming to a FAN  
  
FICTION site? **** (Crystal)  
  
**** Well yes...I've read the first book 56 times for HP (I know  
  
it's sad) but I think that some details are all right to be  
  
skipped over or overlooked. Major details are all most never  
  
skipped over, so it doesn't really matter. **** (Megz)  
  
**** "Purists" shouldn't read them if they do that. I can  
  
understand how fan fiction can annoy them, but why put time  
  
into complaining when your only going to discourage a single  
  
fan writer for a bit? ****  
  
**** If that's all they're doing, then no I don't think they  
  
should bother. I don't mind if someone points out a fact that  
  
I've gotten wrong (especially when I hadn't noticed it), but if  
  
you're reading fan fiction, you're looking for alternatives to  
  
the actual books, not a verbatim copy. **** (hitobashira)  
  
**** I'm a book purist and I love fic (duh). If they're just gonna  
do that, then no - there's a difference between pointing out errors  
in a shop's OOTP window display (which I did) and flaming peoples  
efforts because your close minded. I once read a parody where  
someone had left the same flame three times saying 'this is the last  
time I'm reviewing any of your crap'. Well, two of those times u  
were lying you sad wanker. If you don't like parodies don't read  
them! This is the same thing, if you know you won't like it, don't  
bother. **** (Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
**** Umm...No. All they are doing is putting down young peoples  
  
who maybe feel like writing is all they have. How do flamers  
  
know that their review won't be what will push a kid to putting  
  
a bullet in his head? Not likely, but still. Destructive  
  
criticism is just that - destructive. **** (namarie2legolas)  
  
**** I absolutely HATE when people do that! I've gotten a few e-  
  
mails and reviews like that and it really breaks a person's  
  
heart. I'm a Swedish 13 year old girl so my spelling is kinda  
  
bad but I've worked my ass off with my fanfics and when I get  
  
those kinda reviews I get really sad. It's like saying that  
  
you're not worth a shit and no one wants to hear that kinda  
  
things! But I really like it when people give me advice and tell  
  
me what I can do better. It's so much better to do it that way.  
  
And most people don't even dare to write their pen names and  
  
that's really low. I mean, if you want to say what you think  
  
then why can't you even stand for your word?? That's another  
  
thing that I hate. So please think before you review. ****  
  
(LiNe)  
  
Some authors (maybe you) chose to put songs in their stories, to point out in the lyrics how much the characters are like that, or for whatever reason (I'm not talking about song-fics). What amount of tolerance do you have for this, or do you think it enhances the story?  
  
**** Well . . . it depends on how well of a writer you are. Some  
  
people can pull of songfics and make a person fall in love with  
  
them. Other people over do it and ruin the fic. I can tolerate  
  
it if it's a one-shot but if it's a multi-chaptered fic where  
  
there's a songfic in EVERY chapter, I'll draw the line on ready.  
  
I get tired of it real easy. **** (Maximum Poofy)  
  
**** I do it so it enhances the story. **** (carres1220)  
  
**** I have high tolerance for this, as long as it actually  
  
works. Don't just put a song out of nowhere because you feel  
  
like it. **** (Crystal)  
  
**** I do not insert lyrics. At most, I use a few verses, in the  
  
beginning of the story...from D.H Lawrence, Poe, Shakespeare or  
  
Vergilius. I enjoy their little mind games.  
  
Sometimes, lyrics help. At others, they don't. Then again,  
  
it all matters on the fic. I, personally, tend to believe that,  
  
if used accordingly, they can and will enhance the writing. ****  
  
(ruxi)  
  
**** Song-fics kind-of annoy me but don't really bother me much  
  
at all. Songs can enhance the story but I rarely ever follow  
  
the advice from pure laziness. **** (Megz)  
  
**** I think that it's a good thing. For me music is a way to  
  
express myself. I think that a song kinda makes the story or  
  
chapter a little stronger. I've used songs in my stories because  
  
I think that it makes it more clear for the readers to  
  
understand both me as an author and the characters feelings.  
  
**** (LiNe)  
  
**** I myself don't put songs into my story, but I find that  
  
it's very effective. Being a musician myself, I know how music  
  
expresses things such as emotions and what not. So keep up the  
  
good work, song-fic writers! **** (Nakayo)  
  
**** I think it can work, but it usually doesn't. I've seen a  
  
lot of fics that are liberally interspersed with song lyrics and  
  
found that it seriously detracted from the flow of the story.  
  
On the other hand, there has been the occasional fic that did  
  
integrate them well, but those were the exception rather than  
  
the rule. **** (hitobashira)  
  
END AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yup, you guessed it! I'm looking for NEW slammers! (By the way, thanks a billion to my "classify this" slammers . . . you guys helped me pull of something really amazing.)  
  
Chapter four will be good too, a little basic, a little embarrassing (to the slammers). It's going to focus in on the actual slammers, instead of this one which was more the fan fiction. HOWEVER, for Chapter Five, it will be ALL REQUEST QUESTIONS. That means that I will need 10 new questions sent by review or email by FRIDAY. Thanks a ton, guys!  
  
SECOND SHOUT-OUT TO MY SLAMMERS! YOU GUYS ROCK THIS FIC!  
  
~Neihtar~ 


	4. The Author and the Reader

Have I mentioned that this time I got . . . FOURTEEN slammers this time! Okay, so one of them was completely useless, but NONETHELESS! FOURTEEN! I'm quite happy right now, can you tell? Yeah, I have to warn you that I was brutal in editing this. I mean, I was in a really good mood and completely not afraid to delete entire responses, etc. It's okay, it'll make the whole thing better overall. Plus, thanks to one of my slammers, I got the idea to apply to get this turned into a column and I currently have no information on what's going on with that, but it could happen! Then you'd all be famous! Well, my slammers, that is.  
  
This section is titled "The Author and the Reader." It focuses on questions relating directly to J.R.R. Tolkien and J.K. Rowling, and also really basic questions about the slammers that have nothing to do with fan fiction. It's good, at least I like it.  
  
Oh, and one thing. In this chapter I ran into a lot of sensory issues, because my slammers were very . . . um . . . colorful. Just as I usually rake the responses to change 'gods' to 'goshes,' I went through this and changed the inappropriate language to more subtle, less severe terminology. However, to preserve the fact that the word was not one that the slammer chose, I put an astrix (*) by words that I altered. Thanks! And the slammers are . . .  
  
Monique4  
  
LadyWillow  
  
T.W.  
  
Letalis  
  
A Happy Little Bumble-bee  
  
crity2re  
  
Burenda  
  
*evenstar*  
  
Maikafuiniel  
  
angelskates12  
  
Burp  
  
Cathelm  
  
Jessi Black  
  
And, back by popular demand . . . Hermione 'DB' Granger!!!!  
  
Question Set #4: The Author and the Reader  
  
(1) Who are you? (I mean anything you want to tell me. Age, weight, love life, interests, anything about you that you feel like saying when you answer the question)  
  
----- I am LadyWillow on fanfiction.net, but in real life Jessica. I'm 16 years old, and I live in Wisconsin, as far as love life... *twitch* it's there...I guess... *looks around* Yup, I think so. I gots me a man. *nod nod* (LadyWillow)  
  
----- I'm a typical nineteen year old girl who's just trying to find her place in the world. (T.W.)  
  
------ My life isn't particularly interesting, but if you wanted a point of reference to differentiate me from others, you could say I play lacrosse, have a great interest in foreign languages, and I like to draw anime when I can. (Letalis)  
  
------ I'm a thirteen year old girl obsessed with Draco Malfoy, Shonen Ai, and Anime, plus this boy I like at school! (Sorry, can't say the name!) I'm short, only five-foot, and a total fluff-lover. That's all I write 'cause I can't stand sad stuff. (A Happy Little Bumble-bee)  
  
------ Who am I? I'm a 20 year old college student who's 20 pounds underweight, two shades too pale from lack of sunlight, and prone to fits of obsession with various books and anime series. Love life? Life? What's that? My life consists of books, anime, and fanfiction. (Burenda)  
  
------ My name is Heather, I'm 17, and my turn ons are whips and chains. I'm a writer who reads some of the NC-17 stuff and loves it majorly. I live in a small city in Northern Canada. In snows 9 of 12 months. I have a dead dog. I have hamsters who are cannibals (yep. They ate their mama). I have a crappy job. ...and people wonder why I read fanfiction... (Maikafuiniel)  
  
------ Name is Jenn, my love life sucks and writing is something I picked up from a friend of mine. I am 5'4, but when I went for a physical yesterday the nurse told me I was 5'2 (which is VERY untrue). Right now my arm is sore because of the tetanus shot they gave me, but otherwise it's just another rainy summer day (in other words it sucks). (angelskates12)  
  
------ My real name is Jessica and I live in Tawas, Michigan. My interests are reading (Harry Potter, Vampire Chronicles, Stephen King, Sailor Moon, ect) drawing, mainly manga, and playing around on my computer. I'm single, but I might have some one who likes me. My favorite bands are Disturbed, Ozzy Osbourne, and 3 Doors Down. My favorite show is Buffy the Vampire Slayer, duh. I have a slight case of insanity, but I don't mind. (Jessi Black)  
  
------ I'm Burp. I'm 15 yrs. old, I'm tall, dark, I have really long brown hair, and I love animals. (Burp)  
  
(2) Do you think that people who write fan fiction have more or less self- esteem than people who don't? Why?  
  
------ Of course not! People who write fanfiction may be more talented at the arts, basically writing, than other people, but self-esteem has nothing to do with writing, honestly. Plus, just because you write it, doesn't mean you have it posted about. (LadyWillow)  
  
------ I don't really think self-esteem has a place with fan fiction. I really think fan fiction is just an expression of how well people can expand their minds with the credit of another author. (T.W.)  
  
------ Honestly, I think that some fanfiction writers may not have much of a life, seeing as they have enough time to write the stories, and get them out there, but most fanfiction writers that I know of don't tell anybody who actually knows them personally about their writing. Frankly, ff writers probably have less self-esteem then the average person. Always trying to get reviews... (Maikafuiniel)  
  
------ I for one have quite a bit of self-esteem, but I don't necessarily think one is dependant on the other. I think self-esteem helps if you're looking for other people to read your writings, but isn't usually a factor in the quality of writing, or even inspiration for writing (Letalis)  
  
------ Actually writing fanfiction has little to do with self-esteem. Sure, it takes some guts to post your work where people can see it and comment on it, and the way that readers respond to it can have either a positive or negative impact on your self-esteem, but you don't need self-esteem in order to write. Heaven knows I've seen plenty of authors with poor self- esteem. However, I find that people with better self-esteem tend to be better writers, probably because they have confidence in their work and aren't always second guessing themselves. - Burenda  
  
------ It really depends on what you write, though, to me it seems that you would have more self esteem is you did write anything other than schoolwork, letters, etc. So yes, I do believe so. (*evenstar*)  
  
------ In my opinion, writing helps build self-esteem. Who cares how it's done? Fanfiction just makes it easier to have fun while writing, since the characters and places are already there. (Cathelm)  
  
------ I think they have more self-esteem than those who don't, because they have to have the nerve to post them and not care what the people think of it. (Burp)  
  
(3) Why are you answering this survey?  
  
------ Because...well first off because I think this is a very interesting idea, and secondly because I think this is a good way to gain a bit of insight to myself, and get what I think and feel and believe out to others. (LadyWillow)  
  
------ I got this e-mail, and since I'm totally new to the whole slam thing, I thought I'd try it out. (Cathelm)  
  
------ Because I'm opinionated and will jump at the chance to have my opinion heard. (T.W.)  
  
------ Honestly? Because I'm bored, it's 11:00 PM, and I have no life-yay!! But also because I'm interested to see where this information is going and if other people are at all interested in what I have to say. I think this is rather creative (Letalis)  
  
------ I enjoy peeking into the thoughts of other authors, and I imagine that other people feel the same way. I think it'd be neat for MY thoughts to be some of the thoughts people get to peek into. =) - Burenda  
  
----- 1) nothing better to do until I get my license 2) I'm always happy to help out people who ask for it 3) I like going against the rules sometimes. 4) I love to tell people what I'm thinking about. (crity2re)  
  
------ Because I like knowing that people out there will see my name, and read something by me. :) Like I said, less esteem. Fanfiction writers are people who are obsessed with others finding out there ideas. Yes we have imagination, but most people are able to get it out there where others can say, "Good for you." A lot of us writers are too freaked out about showing this stuff to people we actually know. (Maikafuiniel)  
  
------ Because you sent it to me! I like the Qs, they make me see things in myself I didn't realize were there. They give me an excuse to talk about stuff that wouldn't come up in 'ordinary' conversation ('ordinary' because most of my conversations are quite bizarre). (Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
----- I have WAY too much free time. (A Happy Little Bumble-bee)  
  
(4) If you could pick as many characters from either Harry Potter or LOTR to be members of your family, friends of yours, or significant others, who, and who would they be in your life?  
  
------ Well, I think I'd have to pick Sirius Black from Harry Potter and Remus Lupin from Harry Potter to be my parents. *giggle* I think I'd want them to be my parents because they honestly would be great at raising a kid. Remus would have the more strict, 'clean your bedroom do your homework' attitude, and Sirius would be the one to play and the one Remus would consider just another child of his. It would really fit! (LadyWillow)  
  
------ From Harry Potter, it would definitely be Tom Riddle as my personal slave, just for fun. (T.W.)  
  
------ Actually, given the choice, I'm not quite sure I would, but hypothetically, say I was feeling spontaneous that day, I'd most defiantly pick Hermione for a buddy, and probably Harry and Ron to keep her company. Maybe Draco and Seamus and Dean and Oliver and Alicia and...all them, too. Also, I think Tonks would make a great friend. Knowing me, I'd probably take Snape for a teacher just to make life more interesting. Or even Voldemort-how many people can say they have an evil dark overlord as a teacher? I'd probably take Mrs. Weasley as a second parent though, and most definitely Lupin and Sirius, although I don't exactly know where I'd put them in my life. I'd just like to have them around, and perhaps I could switch between them as boyfriends? Yeah...that'd be pretty cool to say I was dating one of them...haha. I don't really think I'd take anyone from LOTR because they wouldn't make my life as interesting, although I might take Legolas and Faramir just for fun, and perhaps Gandalf as a grandfather if I felt lonley. Oh, there are probably loads more. I know I'd take all the extras and people they only mention once in the books just for the heck of it if I could. I'm just strange like that. (Letalis)  
  
------ I would have Draco Malfoy as my husband, Sirius as my Uncle, Harry Legolas, Lupin, Aragorn, Pippin, Merry, Sam, Frodo, Ron, Fred, George, and Gimli as my bestest friends. (A Happy Little Bumble-bee)  
  
------ Well, I definately would have to choose the Weasly's for my immediate family. They are so down to earth, yet completely out of this galaxy. They aren't afraid to go against the grain, nor are they afraid to stand for what they believe in. But I would also want to have Arwen for a sister. She's so loving and brave! And, finally, I would definately want Legolas as a "significant other." Who can resist the rugged outdoors type? (crity2re)  
  
------ I would have to pick Aragorn. I would want him to be my older brother, so that he could protect me and love me and care about me. I would also have to pick Elrond. I would want him to be my father. (Burp)  
  
------ From LOTR, I'd have to say Legolas, and he would just be a friend. Why him? He's cute! From Harry Potter, I'd pick Sirius Black, and likewise he would be a friend. Sirius is a very dynamic character, and I would love to know him personally. No romance with either, because, frankly, I'm not interested in romance right now. - Burenda  
  
------- Hermione- a friend, Frodo & Legolas- boyfriends or very close friends, Aragorn- brother, Eowyn-sister, Pip & Merry- cousins, Sam- Chef, Gandalf-friend that I could talk to about anything. Sort of like a father, Galadriel- mother, Elrond- Father (*evenstar*)  
  
------ Hmmm... Legolas. Probably as a best friend. He's cool, very nice, willing to help, and he'll fight through thick and thin for you. (Or as a lover - he's HOT!!). I might choose Neville from Harry Potter as a team mate type of thing, because he's the sweet sensitive soul who, when properly motivated, can do damn near anything. Draco would be cool, because there is so much twisted emotion in there. It would suck to be friends with him, cause then you would have to help him through stuff. But it would be interesting nonetheless... (Maikafuiniel)  
  
------- I would have Frodo be my husband (yeah, I know, predictable), and Draco Malfoy be my evil-brother-in-law, I dislike people who are know-it- alls (because I'm one myself) so NO Hermione, Legalos be my cousin because he's real trusting and he has a good shot with that bow of his, strider would be my body-guard because he's cool (and he has a sword), and I think I would want Eowyn as my big sis because she's knows a lot about love and all that mushy junk (and she just seems like an all-round cool person). Oh I forgot Ron Weasley, as my friend, just because we could snack on things that make your teeth rot together. (angelskates12)  
  
------ I would like to have Strider as an uncle, and Elrond to be my grandfather, 'cause then I could live in the woods when I wanted to, or live in a palace when I didn't. (Cathelm)  
  
------ Sirius Black-Boyfriend Remus Lupin-Friend James Potter-Friend Lily Evans/Potter-Friend Hehe, Marauders rule!!!!! (Jessi Black)  
  
(5) First person, second person, and third person: which is a writer's privilege, which is a writer's right, and which is a writer's duty?  
  
------ Honestly, I'm not all too sure there's much of a difference to me. Granted, each P.O.V. tells its own story, but most of the time, it depends on how you want to get across a character's emotions. (T.W.)  
  
------- Hmmm... hard one. I think every writer's duty is to write in 1st person because you see things so differently when you're in the person's shoes. 2nd person is personally harder to write, but I think it's a privilege because some people just totally screw up this kind of writing. Last but not least, 3rd is every writer's right because it is the basic and easiest way of writing. (angelskates12)  
  
------ I think all writing is a privilege. I try not to take the characters for granted any time I write, because I know they're not mine and out of respect to the author, I hope I'm not doing a horrible job of botching their personalities. I think that it's a writer's duty to *think* in 3rd person as he or she writes, because really, we're all observers in these tangled little worlds we get to look into, so that should be the style in which at least 90% of a writer's thinking takes place, unless of course it's your original piece, in which case you should think in all points of view at every possible opportunity. (Letalis)  
  
------ First person is a writer's right, second person is a writer's privilege and third person is a writer's duty. (A Happy Little Bumble-bee)  
  
------ It is a writer's right to write (tongue twister) in the first person. Telling your point of view is the most natural form of writing. It is a writer's privilege to tell a story from someone else's POV. Telling someone else's story is almost a form of gossip. (But I guess when you talk about fiction, it's more a duty to write in the third person...you can be the ominous author...all knowing) (crity2re)  
  
------- 1-writer's duty, 2- writer's privilege, 3- writer's right (*evenstar*)  
  
------ Okay then, privilege. The writer gets to fit the character to his needs. The whole point of a story is to fix things to work with the story line. As long as there is evidence for WHY he made the characters how he did, he can do whatever he wants with it. Right? The writer has the right to write whatever he wants. The writer has the right to put his ideas, and thoughts out into the world. Nobody who doesn't want to read it has to. There's nothing forcing the reader, so really, why can't the writer say whatever the hell she wants? Duty? Easy. To do a good job. The point of fanfiction is to get those ideas out there, and even to touch on issues. What some people don't realize is that, say in a suicide fic, people who have tried to will read it. They will expect a good story, with good details, and as close to the truth as possible. To mess with this can seriously change a person's perception of the original story, or even life. It is the duty of the writer to do as good a job as possible. (Maikafuiniel)  
  
(6) What would piss off Tolkien or Rowling the most on this fan fiction site? What would they think of your work?  
  
------ Probably finding a fanfictioner who got what was really going to happen; I would have no idea, but I'd like to find out. (Monique4)  
  
------ Piss them off the most? Well, I read this one fic where one of the elves (I think it was Legolas) became a vampire, and went back to Lothlorien and made the rest of the elves vampires and there were no more real elves... that pissed me off, and I'm sure it would have pissed Tolkien off too. *nod* (LadyWillow)  
  
------ I can imagine how changing either of their characters for the worse would make them feel. I know that would completely anger me. I don't know what they would think of my work, but if they had a problem with it, I would appreciate some form of contact, even a rude letter or email, just so I would know to stop. (T.W.)  
  
------ I think they might be pissed about the pairings some people write. I haven't written stuff for LoTR, but my Harry Potter story may make Rowling a bit angry, since Draco loves Harry. (A Happy Little Bumble-bee)  
  
------- I think it would most definitely piss off any writer (not just them) the way that people leave out specific details. On fanfiction, writers will come right out and say that it doesn't matter what is in the original publication. It's almost an insult, telling someone that it doesn't matter what they do for a living. (crity2re)  
  
------- I'm sure there are plenty of things on this site that both authors would find offensive. Just making a guess at what would be the most offensive to them, I'd suspect homosexual relationships between their characters. Authors can be very possessive of their characters' love lives, regardless of their views on homosexuality. I honestly don't know what they'd think of my work, because I haven't written anything LOTR or HP related. - Burenda  
  
------- Honestly, I don't know what they would think of my work. For Tolkien, I think he would be pleased. I try to show the friendships, and dealing with emotional issues. :) Rowling would kick my butt.* I like to make Harry get tortured and stuff, and really dark. I have this one where he goes on a murderous rampage after finally getting out of Azkaban... (Maikafuiniel)  
  
------ I think Rowling would die of a heart attack if she saw all the Hermione 'over the summer she just turned into a slut' ones. (angelskates12)  
  
------ OVER CHARACTERIZATION! Or shall I say, mischaracterization. I mean, I like some of the parodies and all, but, Lord of the Rings especially, these books were meant to be works of art, or at least decent entertainment! They shouldn't be screwed with (at least not to a great extent), especially by slashing. (Cathelm)  
  
------ Probably the slash. I love Rowling's work, except when she killed off ______. (Jessi Black)  
  
------- I think that if they read some of the stuff people write that isn't true and the things about the girls all wanting to marry Legolas and crap like that, I think J.R.R. would get really pissed, because that's not how he meant everything to be. (Burp)  
  
------ I happen to think very highly of Mrs. Rowling and Mr. Tolkien, although I don't know half as much about him as I do her. Therefore, I'm pretty sure they'd both be understanding to the kind of fics posted on ff.net, and not a lot would "piss off" either of them. If it were me, though, I'd have a problem with the fics that purposefully deform the characters' personalities, those that are poorly written (i.e. spelling "you" "u", "with" "w/", and etcetera), and those that show blatant disrespect for the works they were based off of. A lot of people don't remember all the thought these authors have put into their works and that although they're here for our amusement, they are due a lot of respect. I mean, seriously, let's see some of these pre-teens who don't know how to spell come up with a literary classic! (Letalis)  
  
(7) How much control should the author of a published book have over things like media, sales, movies and fan fiction related to their work?  
  
------- I think they should have complete and total control over ALL of the above EXCEPT fanfiction. Why do I think this? Because it's their characters, their literary work, their sweat and tears that went into that book, and they alone should be able to decide how they're portrayed in movies. However, fanfiction is a different story, because the fanfiction author is doing the same thing the original author is doing, which is pouring themselves into the work. They're almost making each thing they write a tribute to the original work. I know when Anne Rice stated that she didn't want any fanfiction written about her books I was offended. I took it as a personal insult that she didn't feel we, her fans, could do her work justice. Just my opinion. (LadyWillow)  
  
------- One hundred and ten percent. It was their original creation and they should have the say as to whether or not someone else can base their ideas on that. (T.W.)  
  
------- A whole heck of a lot of control. I don't think fanfiction is so much of an issue, but the rest of it should definitely be kept well-guarded by the author. Fanfiction belongs in a different category than the others though, as it wouldn't usually be bought and sold for a proffit that the author would loose. Same thing for fan art and the like. (Letalis)  
  
------- Well, an author should have the majority of control, which in reality is the ability to say YES or NO. That gives them all the freedom that they choose. Rowling chose to have the actors in the Harry Potter movies be Brittish (at least when concerning the main characters). An author's wishes should always be respected. It is, after all, their property. (crity2re)  
  
------- They should just give advice for the movies and music stuff, they shouldn't have a say about the fan fiction (it's a free country) And the sales they should have the final answer, it's their work. (*evenstar*)  
  
------- The author has cash rights, yes, but she/he shouldn't be able to control fiction. Hell, it's us telling you we like your stuff enough that we actually THINK about it for more then ten minutes. Once they put it out there, what right do they have to stop us from talking about it, and using ideas? It's our RIGHT. (Maikafuiniel)  
  
------- A lot. I mean this is their baby, their book, and letting people like me ruin them is kind of heartbreaking. Some authors just sell the rights and watch the big executives turn their story into moneymaking stuff, usually full of explicit stuff and gore. (angelskates12)  
  
(8) What pisses you off the most about how the movies of these two books have mutated the original work? (cast, missing scenes, OOC, etc.)  
  
------- I'd have to say how the Harry Potter movies messed up the big scene with the basilisk in The Chamber of Secrets. That's not how it worked in the book, and it REALLY pissed me off. And in LoTR, when they had Arwen say lines that were not hers. Argh. *shakes head* (LadyWillow)  
  
------- Mostly the fact that a lot of scenes were deleted, but if you think about it, if every scene of the Harry Potter books had to be incorporated into film, the first two films would be over four hours long each. (T.W.)  
  
------- I don't know a lot about making movies, and I'm sure there are a lot of time restraints that don't allow the directors all the scenes they'd like. I know I was very happy with the casting of Harry Potter, except there's this one line in the second movie that sounds so absolutely fake to me...but that's beside the point. Harry Potter I was very happy with. I'd read the books 7 times each before any of the movies came out and I can tell you that the directors clearly did their homework. True, it's not perfect. But neither is my memory. (Letalis)  
  
------- I have to admit, in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone Movie, they totally butchered the scenes on the way to Quirrel. And In the second Lord of the Rings, Aragorn doesn't go off a cliff. The casting was good, but I hate Emma Watson with a passion. (A Happy Little Bumble-bee)  
  
------- Nothing really pisses me off too much about how these productions are turning out. Some of the little things make me mad (like Peeves not being a more notable character) but films have budgets, time limits, scripts. It would be impossible to include it all. As long as the story isn't changed, I'm happy. (crity2re)  
  
------- I would be willing to sit through a 4 hour movie as long as it was good, but both of them seem very good and nothing really bad about them. (*evenstar*)   
  
------- Harry Potter: Dud's not as fat as he should be. His father doesn't look ANYTHING like him. Dumbledore doesn't "radiate goodness" or whatever the hell he's supposed to do. In fact, he seems rather board through out the entire thing, and has an incredibly dry voice. (I did love how Snape looks in the second movie, during the fighting Lockhart scene though.) (Maikafuiniel)  
  
------ Probably missing scenes. Like in the 1st HP, they left out a lot of good stuff (like when Harry gets his broom and Malfoy tries to tell on him {that was a classic moment}), or like in LOTR, they put stuff from the 2nd into the 1st and left a lot out of the 2nd. That makes me mad, because I really look forward to some of these scenes and they just get taken out. (angelskates12)  
  
------ Oh gosh,* now you're now in for such a rant..... I FRICKING* HATE THE HP MOVIES!!!!! Hypercritically I love the LOTR ones (ducks from things die hard LOTR bookies are throwing). I got into LOTR thanks to the films, but I loved HP before hand. Even so, I think Peter Jackson has done Tolkien's work more justice than Warner Bros have done HP, because he genuinely cared about preserving the book. They've aimed the hp movies at kids who are too young and it's SO over merchandised!!!! I hate Emma Watson more than any of the rest of the mismatched cast as she has slaughtered Hermione (my fav character). They gave Hagrid a stone hut for goodness* sake - this makes one of the best lines completely redundant ('But Hagrid, you live in a wooden house' - Hermione on Norbert). And they cut Peeves! PEEVES! He's fantastic! And what do they put in instead?! Crap that isn't in the book and isn't even acurate, like Hermione taking Harry to see a plaque and telling him he'll be a great seeker because it's in his blood!!!! ARRRGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
------- Everyone who hasn't read the books is misinterpreting the characters; Now Boromir is a fool, Legolas is insanely sexy, and Frodo is 20 years old. Which they're NOT!!! Not that it's a bad thing, but it's just not the way they are. (Cathelm)  
  
------- Missing scenes, defiantly. (Jessi Black)  
  
-------- Well, I haven't read Harry Potter, but I have read LotR. I think that they should have put Tom Bombadil in there, and they shouldn't have made Boromir die in the first movie, because he didn't die in the first book...he died in the first chapter of the second book. And I also think that they shouldn't have had the Elves come and help with the Battle of Helm's Deep, because it didn't happen in the book, and Haldir didn't/doesn't die! Oh! And I think they shouldn't have made Aragorn look like a two-timer. That whole Aragorn Arwen : Aragorn Eowyn thing NEVER happened. Aragorn and Arwen love each other and get married...not Aragorn and Eowyn. They're making it look like he's going to marry her instead of Arwen...curse Peter Jackson for doing this! (Burp)  
  
(9) What is your life like?  
  
------ My life? You ask about my life? Well, my life is like this: Throughout the school year I kind of drift, going from place to place. I've learned to sort of ignore the people around me, most of which like to say some not-too-nice things to me. (Living in a small town in Wisconsin and being a Wiccan lesbian has those problems). I have minor schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder, so things are a bit difficult for me, but I manage just fine. *nod* erm...I balance homework with psychiatrist appointments, which isn't easy but it's worth it, 'cause Ann is really cool... during the summer I basically stay up until around 3:00 am, go to sleep and sleep until about 3:00pm... and I'm online until I go to bed again. *nod* That's pretty much my life. In a nutshell. (LadyWillow)  
  
------ Work, pay bills, plan to be a published author myself one of these days. (T.W.)  
  
------- My life? Relatively boring. I'm not a particularly interesting person. I get up every morning(or noon...), stay conscious, eat a few meals, go to sleep, repeat. I'd love to tell you a whole bunch of stories about all the mysterious adventures I've gone on and super-human beings I've met, but sadly I haven't. Doesn't life suck? No...I'm just kidding. Actually, I'm rather fond of my run-of-the-mill life. I kinda like it here, even for all the time I spend in other worlds:) (Letalis)  
  
------ My life is easy. Stressful, but easy. I have an older sister who is constantly screwing up, which makes my life easier. But I also have goals and desires that my parents are pushing me towards. There's pressure on both sides (my sister to act out, my parents to do better than they did). Right now, I'm dealing with the added stress of the death of one of my close friends. I'm just a small town girl begging to be free. (crity2re)  
  
------- Peachy. Just peachy. (Cathelm)  
  
------ Life? I don't have a life. I eat, sleep, read, write, occassionally watch TV, and go to college. My social life consists of the family members who still live at home and a few acquaintances I see once a week at church. If my life was written in a book, nobody with an ounce of sanity would want to read it. - Burenda  
  
------- I hang out with my friends a lot, going to the movies, sleepovers. I love acting, singing, dancing, stuff like that. I watch TV and play on the computer a lot. I play in the highest band at my school and we play professional music. I own four horses one being only a couple months old. I go riding all the time... As you can see, my life is busy, but never too busy for my friends! (*evenstar*)  
  
------ My life? Ug. My bagel cooker caught fire today. Burned my hand. Fought with my sister. Fought with my brother. Got told off by my mother. Had to get up at 5:30 am to walk an hour to work, spent 8 hours dealing with idiot customers and overbearing bosses, just to walk home (another hour), and see the ff.net banned me! Damn them! My dog is dead. My hamsters ate their own mother. I have no life, and no time for one. Quite frankly, I hate my life. Cripes. What I wouldn't give for a little good luck. (Maikafuiniel)  
  
------ I love it now. It was crap when I was at school because I was a Hermione (I still am). People labeled me a geek and I was always... not exactly being bullied, just picked at. I went through a lot of crap with so called 'friends' who spent all their time whispering about me and pushing me out, as if that wasn't enough, they tried to break up me and any other friends I had. I don't even know why they did it. One of my 'friends' outside of school is really awful and just pulls my self esteem through the mud all the time. Great! I thought I'd put all this behind me!  
  
Anyway, I'm happier now (I think) because I live on my computer, even if my sister obviously thinks I'm a geek for it... (Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
------- I have a psycho step mother who I have not seen since Christmas. Need I say more? (Jessi Black)  
  
(10) Should this Slam Book be allowed on fanficiton.net? Why or why not?  
  
------- Of course! Fanfiction.net has too strict of rules, and this is a really good, insightful thing! If they take this down I'll be firing off a very nasty letter! (LadyWillow)  
  
------ Sure, why not? I don't think it should be posted in the section with all the normal fanfics, because I would be inclined to roll my eyes and restrain my hand from typing a flame to the person who had it in the wrong category, but as long as it doesn't interfere with people who don't want to read it, then sure, it should be allowed. What's it hurting? (Letalis)  
  
------- Sorry, but I think it's great! First off, for less popular authors (like me), if anyone reads this, people might check out their stories! And it's just fun to learn about different people! (A Happy Little Bumble-bee)  
  
------- No. It can't exactly be considered FanFiction, now can it? In all reality, this Slam Book belongs somewhere like FictionPress.com. BUT! (and this is a big but,) It should be made a column. All writers need to know what and how other people are thinking. It keeps the story fresh. (crity2re)  
  
------- As much as I love this Slam Book, I'd have to say "no", it should not be allowed on ff.net. Fanfiction.net is a web site for people to post their stories and poetry. As this does not fall into either of those categories, it should not be on this site. In fact, one could argue that this Slam Book is a List, which is most definitely on ff.net's list of prohibited entries. - Burenda  
  
------- I'd love for this to be on the net, this really got me thinking , these are some really good and deep questions!!! Excellent!!!!!!! Love it!!!!! (*evenstar*)  
  
------ I'm not sure. It's one of a kind, that's for sure. And I know people will read this, but sometimes, different is bad. Why ruin a good thing? (Maikafuiniel)  
  
------ Personally, I think it should because it is interesting and it might even help people, like if they found out from this section that someone else was going through what they are. It's also good for the people who slam, confession is good for the soul.  
  
I can see why they might be banned though, it'd be so boring if everyone did them. I reckon they ban them to stop people doing slambooks and nothing else when it's supposed to be about fic. I reckon they know people do / will do them, and (here's hoping) they secretly love us for it!!! Mr fic security dude, are you reading this? You're proud of us rebels, right? (if not, I bet it's given you a few laughs). They shouldn't be 'allowed' in the rules, but they shouldn't kick peeps off for doing them! (Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
------ I think it's ok... this part of the site was meant to be for fanfiction, but since we are doing fanfiction-writing related things I don't think anyone'll mind. (Cathelm) No, because people are entitled to what they want to think, and sometimes they don't want answers to their questions...they just want to go on dreaming and wishing what they want, and believing what they want, and to be totally innocent...is that a good enough argument for you? Lol (Burp)  
  
END AUTHOR'S NOTE: So? Am I losing my touch or is this just as smashing as the previous three? Personally, I kind of like the second set, but this one isn't that bad, at all. I AM IN SEARCH OF TWO THINGS: New slammers (people to answer my next set of questions), and . . . people to WRITE my new slam questions. Yes, set five will be all requests! Send as many as you want, and I'll see what I want to ask! (Please, if you're doing this, hit the slammers hard . . . heh, heh, heh).  
  
PROPS:  
  
*My slammers! You guys are my heroes!  
  
*Everyone whose computer made my life easier by not adding in random "returns"  
  
*Hermione 'DB' Granger! Thanks for answering the questions and I'm glad I let you!  
  
*All my Wisconsin homies and  
  
*Everyone who proved to me that my insane friend is not the only person who is obsessed with Frodo Baggins. 


	5. 100 Percent Request Questions

I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CHAPTER! I had AMAZING slammers, AWSOME questions (thanks to those who wrote them), and I am 100% NOT RESPONSIBLE for any of the questions! So no one can hate me! Yay!  
  
Speaking of which, the theme of Chapter 5's questions is: Request Questions. There were a total of about four people who emailed me with questions that they wanted to see answered, and I edited the questions (just a bit) and sent them to my slammers! Speaking of which, let me introduce you to my slammers:  
  
Miss Megan  
  
beetlebug13  
  
Sinical_sarchasm  
  
Elanhin  
  
Lady Meowzalot  
  
madman-dreams  
  
AngryMew2  
  
~*~Jenny~*~  
  
Rose Black1  
  
Alexandra Dragonhart  
  
Pooki Ze Great  
  
Ednilona  
  
Fanficfrk45  
  
Firebreath  
  
ALSO, A CHANGE HAS BEEN MADE. You probably all know Hermione 'DB' Granger, who slammed for me in chapter three and returned in chapter four to slam again. Hermione 'DB' Granger is now my 'constant.' She will be in every chapter (except the early ones) and answer all of the questions (whether I want to delete her answers or not). So, welcome back Hermione 'DB' Granger!  
  
AND HERE ARE THE FIFTH SET OF QUESTIONS:  
  
Question Set #5: 100% Request Questions  
  
QUESTION ONE: What is one completely insane theory you have concerning either the Harry Potter books or the LOTR trilogy?  
  
------That Snape will fall in love OR that Harry will die. I mean, what's the point in even WRITING the books if Harry dies? (DooDLeBuG123190)  
  
------That either Ron and Luna will go out, or Ron and Hermione. Not really insane, but that is a theory I have. (Miss Megan)  
  
-------Just 1 theory? Which one to choose.... Probably my most insane theory is that Alicia Spinnet is locked in cupboards between Quidditch matches / training sessions as she never features anywhere but these. Katie only ever comes in interjecting randomly into others' conversations (though they've swapped in book 5). I think the cupboard locking of Alicia has to do with her being a lesbian.... (Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
------Harry sees the mirror of Erised again and inside is Sirius. Sirius somehow steps out of the mirror because he wasn't dead, just in a different world. That's not too insane. (madman-dreams)  
  
------IF Harry kills Voldemort he will kill part of himself (~*~Jenny~*~)  
  
------That Sirius will come back to life. It's not completely insane, but I'm incredibly sure it won't happen. That, or that he had an illegitimate daughter (he seems the type). (Rose Black)  
  
-------Well, I think Snape may have had a crush on Lily. Not really crazy, but I've been told it's weird. (Alexandra Dragonhart)  
  
-------This is totally farfetched, but I personally believe that Katie Bell [Gryffindor Chaser] and Marcus Flint [Slytherin Quidditch Captain] should be together. (Fanficfrk45)  
  
------Gosh....there are so many of those. But let's find the most insane one (not made up to be a humor fic, that is) of all of them...I'd have to say the strangest insane theory I've ever had was "Father," which basically went as follows: 1) When Dumbledore and Severus' mother are students they have an affair which results in Severus. 2) Dumbledore abandons Severus' pregnant mother, scarring Severus for life. 3)Later Nadja gets married to none other than James Potter's father, making Severus and James step-brothers and putting Severus through even more pain. 4) Severus finds out who his father is. 5) Severus finds out that Voldemort is plotting to kill Dumbledore. 6) Severus joins Voldemort. 7) At the last minute, Severus turns back to the good side, realizing how fundamentally wrong it is to kill your own father, no matter what he did...yeah. Pretty odd theory of how Severus turned to the dark side, no? (Sinical_sarchasm)  
  
(2) What particular genres (types, kinds, sort) of fan fiction do you stay far, far, away from? Why?  
  
------Mary-Sues, of course, because those things just annoy me. And Slash. I don't know why I stay away from Slash, but I just do. It bugs me. I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying it bugs me. (Miss Megan)  
  
-------I absolutely can't stand slash, and terribly written Mary-Sues. I will occasionally read a MS, but it's not my favorite category. Also, I tend to not read parodies because I've only ever read a couple of good ones (Dude, Where's My Ring? and others that I can't remember). (Ednilona)  
  
-------Mary Sues, of course, and future-year fanfictions (e.g., writing Harry's sixth year before it comes out). Whenever anyone tries it just feels like a revolting imitation of J.K. It never quite works the same way as the book would, and you always find yourself resenting that. I also try to stay away from love scenes because I'm a pathetic loser, have no love life, and wouldn't be able to write a good love scene if I put my whole life force into it. Like they say, write what you at least have some idea about... (Sinical_sarchasm)  
  
--------When I see "romance" I don't usually read it. I like romance, don't get me wrong, but I doubt I could like a plot only of romance. There has to be another plot. It just gets too boring otherwise. (madman-dreams)  
  
------Adults/students. Like Snape/Draco or Sirius/Hermione. They creep me out! (~*~Jenny~*~)  
  
-------Mary-Sues and any pairing other than James/Lily. Because they for some reason make me jealous. No I don't know how this happens. Bah. (Pooki Ze Great)  
  
------Slash and romance, I just don't like that kind of stuff. I don't think I'll ever like romance in anything unless I ever do fall in love (unlikely for at least the next ten years I reckon.... ok maybe five. Or three). I do sometimes read romance stories if they're not too soppy and mixed with Action/Adventure. And slash, well... I love these characters and unless the original fiction states that they are homosexual, I don't like it. It's nothing personal and I believe in equality, but I just prefer not to read or write it myself. (Firebreath)  
  
------Anime fan-fiction. I mean, I've never really seen any of those shows, I've never gotten into any of them...*shrug* So, obviously, if I read the fan-fiction I'd have no idea what's going on. That, and romance. Don't get me wrong, it's okay, but I'd much rather see how J.K. Rowling pairs them off. (Lady Meowzalot)  
  
------Hm... Spiritual, horror, sci-fi and other stuff that I don't think I'm good at writing... (Elanhin)  
  
------I'd have to say angsty ones, because reading fanfiction is the only way for me to escape from my own dreary depressing life, so why would I want to read about it? (beetlebug13)  
  
------None really. I just read and then review. I review every chapter of every fic I read. I only avoid stuff I think will annoy me (eg Harry Potter / S Club songfics *shudder* - did not want damn crappy pop stuck in brain all day even with amusing HP lyrics...) (Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
-----Science fiction usually creeps me out. Also, I try to stay away from slash. Not easy to do, but it's not because I'm against homosexuality. I just feel that pairing two males [i.e. - Malfoy and Harry] together for personal satisfaction is wrong. (Fanficfrk45)  
  
(3) The most revolting Mary-Sue you've ever written: tell us about her, in as much detail as you can bear.  
  
------"It was Harry's first day back at Hogwarts and Dumbledore made an announcement: 'Students, I'd like you to meet Maria Susana Riddle, an exchange student from America.' As she turned and faced them, everybody admired her despite that she was Voldemort's daughter, for she had beautiful, windswept blond-hair, blue eyes of the stormy ocean, was tall and marvelously skinny, wore the best of the designer robes, and was the most perfect girl ever, her placement in Gryffindor making her even better."  
  
------But like I said, this was satire, so the rest of the story was devoted to the events leading up to Harry banishing her to the Saharah to "have fun with the Quidditch refs." (Sinical_sarchasm)  
  
------The main character in my LotR fic was extremely feminine and almost delicate. She was really annoying at times. (beetlebug13)  
  
------Heh, hmm... Let me think... Er, ok, her name was Elizabeth, and she kind of appeared out of nowhere. Like, one day she wasn't there, and the next she was. And then, instantly, her, Harry, Ron and Hermione were really close, and practically out of nowhere her and Harry started going out. And . . . oh ya, her hair changed color once. Hehehe. That was a long time ago. I can't remember it that well. (Miss Megan)  
  
-------I've only written one story that you might classify as a MS, though I don't think so. I started with describing how beautiful she was, and that was a big mistake. (Elanhin)  
  
------Named Minerva Snape. SHE WAS PERFECT! Only had one flaw and that was being a werewolf. I hate her so much! (~*~Jenny~*~)  
  
------I started writing in...like....first grade. *digs around for notebook with that bizarre story in it to see if it's a Mary Sue*....*can't find the @#$#@ thing* I made one of my characters pretty much a Mary Sue, she didn't have the spice and personality she does now. (Lady Meowzalot)  
  
-------I haven't written a Mary-sue yet. Thank GOODNESS. (madman-dreams)  
  
-------All I remember is she was disgustingly perfect in every way. That was over half a year ago so I can't really remember her. Trust me, we're all probably better off forgetting her. (Pooki Ze Great)  
  
-------Shanna Lupin(and her friend too, actually). In my story The Meeting of Lily and James, she's Remus' twin sister. She ends up being friend with Lily and...argh...that's pretty much all I can say. (Alexandra Dragonhart)  
  
-------Oh my gosh, she was terrible! She was not beautiful, but she was a 21st century girl who got transported to Middle-earth. Everyone else could understand her and they were speaking modern-speech, the plot was full of holes, and . . . ugh, it was terrible. (Ednilona)  
  
-------Read my old fic "Harry Potter and The Magi of Love" and look carefully at Misty Silverlight. Then you'll understand. (Fanficfrk45)  
  
--------I hope I haven't written any MSs. I guess there's someone who might be but I can't say without smegging up the element of surprise. I don't think she is - there can be a fine line between OCs (who have to be out of the norm for there to be a point in putting them in) and MSs. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
---------She was using those sort of 'made for movie' lines, that sound good at first sight, though way too over dramatic, but don't mean anything. She was also a lot smarter than everybody else and was busily 'being important.' No wonder I discontinued that ff. (Firebreath)  
  
(4) A character that you put yourself into: tell us about him/her, and how the fact that they were representing you molded them.  
  
-------Oh THIS is easy! I technically was her. Dazzlingly brilliant (as I am, I think), kinda sort of pretty (as I am)...oh yes, and an egotistical brat that can't stop talking to save her life. She's bossy, and domineers any situation...much like I do when in any sort of school group. She isn't me, she's a character, but the fact that I play her certainly gives her a dash of my personality. (Lady Meowzalot)  
  
-------I've written a love story where Haldir, Boromir and Legolas falls in love with the same girl. She's based upon me and my thoughts but I also wish to be her with all the guys swarming around her. (Elanhin)  
  
------The main character in one of my fics was named Britney, which was my name. I changed a few things about her so that she was more of what I'd like to be than what I am. She was outgoing and friendly, but all too much like me, she had a very sharp tongue. (beetlebug13)  
  
------I usually try to "live through" the canon characters I write. Everyone has different views on how Draco really is, or what Snape is like when he's by himself. When I want to show a realistic side of a character, sometimes I use my own motivations, reasons, or judgment. So often I'm not writing about Harry or Ron, I'm writing about myself. (madman-dreams)  
  
-------Alexandra Dragonhart. She's very protective of her loved ones as I am, since I lost quite a few of them. She's also kind of doing things before thinking about it...a trait that got me in trouble more than once. (Alexandra Dragonhart)  
  
--------I put myself into every character, even Snape (in an unpublished fic). Fleur, etc., they all have a lot very in common with me. (Rose Black)  
  
-------Um, well right now there's a girl called Jessica Riddle I'm writing. The fact she's representing me probably shows up in her [very carnal] obsessions with Remus and Sirius. I'd imagine. And probably a million trillion things which I forget only I do. Like calling people "wench" all the time. (Pooki Ze Great)  
  
-------Not really put myself into - they are me. In my Bill fics I have an OC who IS me (except she's at Hogwarts / in the wizarding world). In Bill's diary I could be in real danger of interjecting a lot of my school life into my character's, though, as it's from Bill's POV, these may only be things I know about the character's history that never have to come to light. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
------My newest character that's in a story I'm working on is named Eodwyn, and she's like me because she has a very feisty spirit and really wants to learn how to wield a sword and also, regular Middle-earth "street- fighting". (Ednilona)  
  
(5) Who knows that you write fan fiction?  
  
------*cowers* I'm ashamed to say that most people don't know...just my family, my friend Erin, who also writes fanfiction, and a few friends of Erin's. I've been on the verge of telling my only other three friends, but whenever I start to bring it up with two of them they start making fun of fanfiction and going on tirades about "who has enough time for that," and my other friend just despises Harry Potter...*sighs* So much for openness and honest relationships...ah well, I was never much for those anyway. (Sinical_sarchasm)  
  
-------Hmm...my parents (they'd die a horrible death if they read it), a few of my RL friends, and a LOT of people online. (Lady Meowzalot)  
  
------Well, most of my friends. My parents know too (I think) but they don't know that I'm posting it. (Elanhin)  
  
-------My family - they've read a bit of it, though I always feel really uncomfortable right after I say they can. My sis isn't really interested (thinks I'm a geek) my mum worries about the amount of time I spend on the computer and my dad's quite nice about it (I don't want him to be negative, but I find I wouldn't mind if he left me to it). A few friends know (as I've said before, one got me started on it) and a couple have reviewed. It's not like I make a big deal about it, and I wouldn't tell people about it as the first thing when I meet them, I'd have to trust them loads first. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
------Actually, no one. Haha. My sister once brought up the fact that her best friend wrote a fanfic, and she was very scornful of it. it's not that I'm embarrassed, I just think it's my business. (madman-dreams)  
  
------My friends, all but one finds it sick, my cousin. (My parents have no idea and it's staying that way) My grandma knows. (~*~Jenny~*~)  
  
-------My parents and my friends. They don't read it though. I find it too embarrassing when other people whom I now read my stuff, as often I end up hating it. (Firebreath)  
  
-------My friends, two of my cousins, and my family might know... yeah, they do actually but I don't want them to!!!! (Ednilona)  
  
-------My best friend in the whole world knows [who, coincidentally is also registered on Fanfiction], as do various people on line. May parents are totally oblivious! Mwahaha! (Fanficfrk45)  
  
--------Well I'm not sure of the exact numbers, but I tend to tell everyone I talk to for more than an hour and everyone on my LJ, and blurty, and well, all of my friends.... Let's just say a lot of people who shouldn't know do, shall we? (Pooki Ze Great)  
  
(6) What is/was the craziest dream/fantasy you've had concerning one of the books or fan fiction? (by "dream," I mean when you were actually asleep)  
  
------I was a student at Hogwarts, and in the middle of Potions class, Snape decides to have a 'lice check'. And for some reason, Harry checked my hair, and there was lice crawling all through it. I was pretty freaked out when I woke up. (beetlebug13)  
  
-------One time I dreamt that the cast of LotR came and visited me and they all worshipped me and wanted to date me. That was fun. (Elanhin)  
  
--------I dreamed Dumbledore was meeting Voldemort for a mud-wrestling contest. Dumbledore wasn't up to strength, though, so he tagged in Harry. Harry starts freaking out, saying he's not cut out for this "hero" business. Because he falters Voldemort is able to take the opportunity to jump on top of Harry, completely squishing him--something I've always wanted to try. The jumping, not the squishing. (madman-dreams)  
  
--------I had this really bizarre Harry Potter dream...I was at school and I was riding a broomstick through the hallway and my teacher hit me with her briefcase...or the one where I was an animagus and could turn into a wolf... (DooDLeBuG123190)  
  
-------I was tied to a dungeon wall, Snape was tied up somewhere across from me and Harry had been driven insane. Hagrid breaks the wall down and then suddenly Snape and McGonagall were kissing as were Harry and Hermione. (~*~Jenny~*~)  
  
------Here's a really weird dream: I was Theoden, and I was at the battle of Helm's Deep. I went down the stairs towards the side-door to block anyone from getting in there when I saw Eowyn in another room fighting some other girl who was wearing modern clothing (Eowyn was wearing her white dress) that had a black shirt with pink or yellow lettering on it. I think Eowyn collapsed or something, because the next thing I knew I was fighting the girl. I was definitely thinking MY (Ednilona) thoughts, because it was my first time killing someone and I had no technique, I was just stabbing at her chest and dodging her blows. Then I killed her, and looked at my hands, which were covered in tiny nicks. Next thing I knew, I had woken up. (Ednilona)  
  
------I had a scary dream with a dementor in once.... Craziest, hmmm. I daydream about Bill a LOT and just about what might happen in fics or RPGs - I just drift off into the world and have conversations. My mind is on such a continuous HP / RPG loop that it's what I'm thinking about when I go to sleep and it's the first thing I think of when I wake up, so I probably have loads of weird dreams that I don't remember as they are a (twisted in a bizarre dream way) extension of my consciousness. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
------Oh... there was this amazing Harry Potter one I had a few years ago. In the middle of class my English teacher comes up to me a whispers 'it's ok, I know you're Harry Potter. Professor Dumbledore wants you to come and work in this corner, away from everyone else. You see, there's this code which only you can break, it's the code to defeat Voldemort. And we think he may be coming to get you.' Anyway, eventually Voldemort did come, I hadn't even started breaking the code, and Lord Voldemort turned everyone into pigs. I just managed to avoid the spell and was watching everyone else rampage around the cloak room, then I woke up. Please ignore my insanity. Mungo's is doing all it can. (Firebreath)  
  
-------Ha. Well. Ummm... I had one where me, a bunch of my friends, and random Harry Potter characters were jumping up and down on a gigantic trampoline underneath a purple and orange polka dot sky, while the house elves had an orgy.... No wait I didn't dream that. But wouldn't it have been hilarious if I had? *thinks and giggles* Spifferific! (Pooki Ze Great)  
  
AUTHOR INTERJECTION: One of the dreams sent to me for this question was very long, but it was also hilarious so I put it at the bottom of the page, after the props. PLEASE READ IT!  
  
(7) If you could have one character from either of the books follow you around for one day and act exactly as you would want them to, who would it be? How would you have them act around you?  
  
------Draco! I'd have him act like he is, but a little nicer. I don't want to change him too much. After all, that wouldn't be nice. And I like him the way he is. (Miss Megan)  
  
------Snape...as long as it was only one day. I don't think I could cope with another person being sardonic and cynical much longer. But I love his intelligence/wit, wry sense of humor (if you want to call it that) and his off-beat sexiness. (Okay, so he's way too old...but one can dream, no?) (Sinical_sarchasm)  
  
-------Snape, definitely. I would want him to act exactly as he is, maybe even a bit snakier. Cutting wit is hard to find, and he's a goldmine. I'd probably laugh at everything he said, even if it's degrading me. (madman- dreams)  
  
------Hehehe... Elladan or Elrohir! They would be all cool and really nice to me, like friends are to each other. (Elanhin)  
  
------I'd get Pippin and Merry to follow me around and wreak havoc upon my brother. We need to discover a tape that will rip his eyebrows completely off...and no, duct tape doesn't work. It's been tried. (Lady Meowzalot)  
  
------I would say Bill, but I'd rather have him being with me of his own free will. However if it's a choice of this or never seeing him, of course I'll go for this. I wouldn't want him to act - I'd want him to be genuine. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
------Only one character???????? Aww, fine then. Professor Dumbledore. He would act as if I was Harry Potter basically, pretty sad I know. He'd act as if I was this extremely special person, in short I would become a Mary- Sue and everyone would want to hit Dumbledore over the head for sucking up to me. Or maybe Voldemort, and he would want to kidnap me for some strange reason. Yes, I know you only said one, sorry. (Firebreath)  
  
--------I would have either Jack Sparrow, Legolas Greenleaf, Eowyn, or Aragorn II follow me around and act exactly as they normally do. (Ednilona)  
  
-------Probably either Hermione or the teen Lily...or Sirius. I love Sirius! (DooDLeBuG123190)  
  
------I would choose either Sirius or Severus. Sirius would act playful and flirtatious (of course), and, uh, let's just say that Severus would act daring and confident. (beetlebug13)  
  
------Sirius. He would ignore my friend who's obsessed with him MWAHAHAHA! And he would pester my family. He he. They think he really killed Harry's parents still. (~*~Jenny~*~)  
  
------I would have either Sirius or Aragorn follow me and I would have them act as if they were my boyfriend. Well, most probably Sirius because Aragorn already has a girl and I like her too...as a character I mean. (Alexandra Dragonhart)  
  
------*Grins* Are children going to be reading this? I dunno, either Remus Lupin or Sirius Black and well.... Let's just say the way they'd act would be strictly NC-17, shall we? (Pooki Ze Great)  
  
(8) What was the most irritating piece of fan fiction you've ever read? What made it so irritating?  
  
-------It was called something like A Heart's Entrance or something and Sirius was with Harry. Very graphically! It was removed though. (~*~Jenny~*~)  
  
------I can't remember an annoying fanfic, because I never finish them; I just exit out right then and there. (beetlebug13)  
  
------A one that had a lot of reviews that I absolutely hated. The idea was great, but the way they carried it out wasn't so great. It just kept going and going and going, basically the same things over and over. And then the characters were really OCC. Geez that annoyed me! (Miss Megan)  
  
------The most irritating one was this novel-length (dear lord!) piece. It was Harry/Draco, yet every single male in the fic was hooking up. In the beginning the author was all about "defeating Voldemort" and such, and then she turned to creating couples her top priority. And there was some nonsense about wands and how they connected and such, and every couple had their wands connect and it was just overdone... (madman-dreams)  
  
------I don't know, probably this one on another website where this girl (21st century) got transported back to Middle-earth, went with the Fellowship on their journey. I'm not going to describe the details, but basically they married and moved to Missouri or California or something, and Legolas gave up his mortality. It wasn't bad, it just annoyed me that Legolas gave up his mortality and that they moved to the United States. (Ednilona)  
  
-------A French one - can't remember the name. It was irritating because there was absolutely no paragraphing what so ever. After I'd worked hard translating it, it wasn't worth it because it was one of those annoying ones that spends ages explaining stuff you already know (eg 'Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger - Harry's two best friends at Hogwarts.') I admit some of the poetry of the words or whatever was probably lost on me, but it still stank. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
------Grr. It had to be this one which I couldn't even bear to finish reading or review. It was a Harry Potter one and everyone was out of character, the plot didn't even exist. It was badly written. The worst bit was when I quickly looked at the review page and everyone was saying how good it was. (Firebreath)  
  
-------A few words: Belly button piercing in middle earth. An author who has seen the movie all of three times, and admits this. A "magical elf princess". Red hair with blonde streaks. A low cut two piece dress. The author who thinks she might add a sex scene later. Need I say more? (Lady Meowzalot)  
  
(9) What would you do if they a) put an Arwen-Aragorn sex scene into the Return of the King? What is the worst mistake they could possibly make in either/both of these movies?  
  
-------A) - I would start screaming 'NOOO! Get off him!! He's mine!! My own! My PRECIOUS ARAGORN!' Then pursue my greatest ambition to kill Arwen (and therefore probably get slaughtered by all my friends, who adore Arwen). (Firebreath)  
  
------Oh dear, no thanks for a. Not right. It wouldn't fit. RotK is perfect the way it is, I don't want it changed at all. Of course they will, but not too much. For both of them, delete important scenes. I hate when they do that. And then, instead, they add in a completely new scene that wasn't in the book. That annoys me. (Miss Megan)  
  
------*twitch* Must...kill...I'd probably find a medium; you know, the ones who can supposedly contact dead people? I'd get him/her to use what power they had to reach Tolkien. THEN we'll see what HE thinks...mwahahaha...yes, anyway, worst mistake. I think that's the main one, but I heard they're cutting the Scouring of the Shire. SACRILEGE! (Lady Meowzalot)  
  
-------a) That would wreck it! The A/A thing was only an appendix in the end of RotK (Rose Black)  
  
-------a) I would laugh, clap, and show it to my grandmother, hoping that she would have a heart attack and die. I think the worst mistake they could make is to screw up Remus or Sirius in any way, which they already have by casting people who look nothing like them for the roles. *mutters* Stupid lousy gits... (Pooki Ze Great)  
  
------I would freak out!! The worst thing to do is to make Sirius look extremely disgusting since I picture him as a really good-looking guy, in LotR it must be to leave out big parts *cough*thegreyhavens*cough* or something like that. (Elanhin)  
  
-------For A, I'd totally freak out and probably gag. In my opinion, they portrayed Arwen wrong in the movies, so Aragorn doesn't disserve her, at least in that respect. (beetlebug13)  
  
------A. MY EYES! NO! THEY BURN! (~*~Jenny~*~)  
  
-------a. I would be disgusted, because I hate the couple, but still, it's more of the movie! But they wouldn't do that because of their younger audience. At least, I hope not.  
  
(Ednilona)  
  
-------Oh please. I would be scarred for life and destroy all photographs of Viggo Mortensen (sp?) that I own lest I be reminded of his awful sin. Or something along those lines...I mean, let the viewer decide what he/she wants. Please.  
  
What is the worst mistake they could possibly make in either/both of these movies? In Harry Potter, firing their best actor, Alan Rickman. Hehe, sorry, I've got a bit of an obsession there. Seriously, my list of things they're doing wrong in Harry Potter is so long that I don't even want to be thinking about it right now...the biggest mistake I could see them making is keep going in the same general cinematic direction. Because as of now, the Harry Potter movies have sucked, and nothing anyone (even the almighty Alan Rickman) can do is going to save them unless there's an utter turnaround. (Sinical_sarchasm)  
  
-------Don't get me started on the Harry potter movies. So far I am the only one that has hated them with a vengeance that will never die. Not only do they cut out so many important scenes, they also had bad casting. I think Harry potter should have been done like "James and the Giant Peach," in clay. But that's just me. If they cut out the scene, I wouldn't be surprised. Both a.) and b.) are equally heinous, because sex between Arwen and Aragorn would be to please the audience in the usual "fall in love, have sex, live happily ever after" theme. It's unnecessary really because people get that they love each other. And their love is only a minor theme in the movie. Or should be. (madman-dreams)  
  
------As far as choice 'a' goes, I probably wouldn't care. As long as it's not too explicit. They're a cute couple. However, the people working on Priosoner of Azkaban better watch how they portray the Dementors. If they portray them wrong I would be moved not to see Goblet of Fire, or at the very least, not buy Prisoner of Azkaban on video/DVD. (Fanficfrk45)  
  
-------I probably wouldn't find out for a while as I refuse to watch the films. As far as I'm concerned, they've already made so many major mistakes I can't pick a worst one.  
  
- Emma Watson. I will rant for hours about her. She looks nothing like Hermione. She is determined to disown Hermione because she wants to be pretty and popular - she's ashamed of her character. And she's a crappy actress - she was embarrassed to have to hug DR for God's sake.  
  
- The 'You'll be a great seeker it's in your blood' cheesy plaque scene / all the cheesy scenes they've put in that aren't in the books.  
  
- Cutting Peeves.  
  
(Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
-------In PoA if they left out the part where Hermione slaps Draco OR the part where Harry meets Cho OR the part where they first meet Trelawney. (DooDLeBuG123190)  
  
AUTHOR INTERJECTION: WHEN I EDITED THE QUESTIONS PEOPLE HAD SENT ME, I WAS IN A REALLY BIG HURRY AND MADE ONE HUGE MISTAKE. ONE OF THE QUESTIONS HAD AN ERROR IN IT. This was question 9, the one you just read. You see, it used to also give an example of a mistake that could be made in the third book. Unfortunately, it never happened in the third book. I apologize, but offer you to get a kick out of how my slammers reacted to it: B) What would you do if, in the third movie for Harry Potter, they deleted the scene where the Weasleys destroy the Dursley's fireplace? (that was the question I asked)  
  
------*b) Don't you mean GoF? That would be very bad, too. What would they put there? I would post something very angry at the SugarQuill forum.  
  
-------*b. The Weasleys come to Privet Drive in book 3? When did that happen? I thought HP took the Knight Bus to Diagon Alley where he spent awhile there before meeting up with Ron and Hermione.  
  
-------*Now with 'b', I think you made a mistake. Unless I'm wrong, the Weasleys don't come to Number 4 in Prisoner of Azkaban. They do that in Goblet of Fire. But for that, I would be extremely upset. How would Harry get to Hogwarts if the Weasleys didn't blow up the Dursley's fireplace?  
  
-------*I'm appalled at you! That scene is in book 4!!!!!! It will kill me if they cut it because I love it (it's SO funny - Mr. Weasley and his plug collection. You gotta love him for it! You just gotta love him generally).  
  
(10) Admit something here about either your fan fiction or the books that you have never admitted to anyone else, maybe even yourself.  
  
-------I hate my obsession with fan fiction. I am constantly wanting to read a story, and if not, than I want to write one. It must be destroying my eyes by now. Lol, but I'm not saying I would stop. No, I don't think I could stop. Or... ya, I'm starting to make no sense... (Miss Megan)  
  
-------I am rather ashamed of my fanfiction obsession...of all of it, the better fanfiction included. Even though I pretend not to care. *sighs* So much for keeping up appearances. Also, I was rabidly anti-Harry Potter before I actually got of my arse and read them...not in a Christian- fundamentalist sort of way (because I'm an atheist....) but in a these-are- stupid-overrated-children's-books sort of way (Sinical_sarchasm)  
  
-------If I had to be serious about my writing--I'd say it sounds like I'm reaching for too much. The-kid-that-crossed-the-street-only-to-be-run-over- by-a-bus. When I try for angst, it's just melodramatic crap. When I try for humor, I realize just how unfunny I am. My writing's too simple and the feelings too shallow. (madman-dreams)  
  
------I find Snape hot. Wait, I have admitted that. I write slashes (which I have never posted) I hint at them. I write them full out. I never post them. But half of them are very good and so in character it's believable. (~*~Jenny~*~)  
  
------If I didn't have HP / ff I'd probably have killed myself or got into serious self harm by now. (Hermione 'DB' Granger)  
  
-------I actually started my fan fiction "The Blood Clan and the Marauders" because a friend of mine said that when I wrote a scene were a werewolf kills a Hogwarts teacher in another story, it was my best piece ever. I wanted to write it to do that kind of stuff and it became much more than that. (Alexandra Dragonhart)  
  
-------I always think that just maybe this time I written one good enough to have about 20 reviews the next time I check my stats (and believe me I check them a lot). I really shouldn't have admitted that. (Firebreath)  
  
-------When I stopped writing fan fiction for a while, it was because I was honestly tired of it. However, when I re-started writing, I dunno, a month and some ago(?), it was because I am a funny little review whore who needs lots of people boosting her ego so that she can stay sane through the drudgery that is "real" life. (Pooki Ze Great)  
  
------Both of my characters are Mary-Sues in my stories, I guess, that's it. (Ednilona) I think I'm a better writer than I actually am. Sometimes it takes the occasional flame to help me see that. (Fanficfrk45)  
  
--------It's all what I wish: that I could be in those books/situations. I wish I could be a poor orphan Newsie, a Mary Sue, an HP character, a girl squire, a girl in Miss Hannigan's orphanage. I put myself there because a lot of my writing is sort of wish-fulfillment--I think it is to many people. My writing is my personal fantasies. (Rose Black)  
  
END AUTHOR'S NOTE: Basically this: old slammers and new slammers wanted. Email me or review and I'll put you on the list.  
  
PROPS:  
  
* My slammers! You guys rock! Also thanks to everyone who used correct grammar and capitalization when slamming. It made my life 10x easier. But to all slammers: YOU GUYS ARE MY HEROES! Keep up the good work!  
  
* Sinical_sarchasm - thank you so much for your insanely long answers, and for letting me edit them down. I was really grateful for the time you took to slam.  
  
* Hermione 'DB' Granger - thanks again, and thanks for being a constant. It's good, definitely (although I'll warn you I'll only let on one more Emma Watson rant). Haha . . . you rock!  
  
Sinical_sarchasm's HILARIOUS dream:  
  
I was swimming in a very cold bay, shivering. Suddenly, I heard my mum's voice, "Katy (my dog}! Jack (my cat)! Come in here or else I will burn your tails!" Katy and Jack dutifully came (don't ask me how they could understand, this is, as you are finding out now, a strange senseless dream in which most things don't make sense.).  
  
Then, after a few moments, I heard my mum say, "Etha! Come here too! Or else I will burn your tail!" She was just joking though, because I did not have a tail. So I came back and went onto the big, wooden dock.  
  
For some strange reason, I decided to take a little stroll on the dock. I was walking when I saw that Prof. Severus Snape was standing there, holding a Philosopher's Stone! Harry Potter was there also, for no apparent reason, and he had a bushy tail. He said, "Prof. Snape gave me this tail!" Then, without another word, he disappeared.  
  
Strangely enough, I wasn't at all surprised in finding Harry Potter (with a tail), Snape, and the Philosopher's Stone with me on the dock. Prof. Snape said, "Look! I have a Philosopher's Stone!"  
  
Instead of being surprised at seeing all this magic on the dock, I just said, "Uh...that's nice." I wondered if it was legal or not, but I didn't ask.  
  
Then Snape said, "Now I will live forever!"  
  
All of a sudden, Snape disappeared. In his place was Prof. Phaedrus (an RPG character who is a Slytherin teacher), who was holding the exact same stone as Prof. Snape was holding (don't ask me how I knew that this was the same one, I have no idea). So I said, "Uh, Prof. Phaedrus, why are you where Prof. Snape was just a second ago and holding his stone?"  
  
He said, "Prof. Snape and I are one and the same!" Then he laughed. It was a strange laugh, not humorous yet not evil either.  
  
I didn't really understand this but I didn't feel like arguing with him about it, or discussing it, so I said, "Oh. Well..er...that's very interesting."  
  
So Prof. Phaedrus said, "Yes, it is, isn't it! It is a much better way to live forever than what I was doing before." (In the RPG he was taking some kind of Elixir of Life pills to make him not age.)  
  
So I said, "Yeah, uh, I guess it is." (What a brilliant answer, eh?)  
  
Then, out of the blue, he said, "You know, this is illegal for me to be making the Stone not under the eyes of the ministry and then use it also without the ministry knowing." (I have no idea why he decided to tell me this, especially since in the RPG he's a Slytherin teacher and I'm a Gryffindor.)  
  
"Really?" I said, "I didn't know that." Then I decided it was a bad thing that he was breaking the law, so I drew out my wand (how did I get a wand?) and I said, pointing to the stone, "Accio Stone!" The stone flew into my hand. Apparently Phaedrus didn't have his wand with him, because he did absolutely nothing to stop me and/or try to get the stone back.  
  
So I ran and ran on the dock, which seemed to stretch on endlessly, clutching the stone in one hand and my wand in the other. Then I bumped into Nicholas Flamel. He had a tail, and it was white, but not nearly as bushy as the one Harry had had. I said, "Oh, sorry I bumped into you. Hi Nick!" (I have no idea, once again, how I knew who it was.)  
  
Then I noticed that he was dying. He said, "Hello little girl. The stone is destroyed, and I am dying!" He didn't seem very sad about that.  
  
I was kind of mad at him for calling me a little girl, since I am thirteen, but I felt sorry for him because he was dying. I said, "Well, I have good news! I found another stone!"  
  
Nicholas Flamel, for some strange reason, didn't seem at all surprised that I had found a second Sorcerers Stone. Instead he said, "I am going onto the next great adventure."  
  
I said, "Yeah, I know you are. Do you want the stone? It has the Elixir of Life, obviously, so you can take it and keep on living!"  
  
But Nicholas said, "Oh, no, little girl. I have lived my life and am ready for the next great adventure. Let the Stone be your gift, little girl." (That little girl stuff was really annoying to my dream-self.)  
  
Then I woke up, my hand on the Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone book, which was beside my pillow. 


End file.
